Should I seek a diagnosis?

Good Morning, I am new to this community and it's a pleasure to be here. After much hesitation, I decided to access this discussion page in hopes to connect with other likeminded people. I have been having an internal battle as of late about whether I should seek a diagnosis or not. For as far as I go back and think of myself growing up, I have always been and felt different from my peers. At school, I used to be picked on and bullied a lot because often times I did not understand the jokes or conversations that everyone was involved in; over time, I found myself being the child that other children would target and insult and their insults went beyond my head as I laughed along completely unaware that they were making a fool of me. I know for one that I was a slow bloomer, having taken much longer to develop than my fellow peers which could factor down to the facts that:

1. I had always been the youngest in the year, having been born at the end of August.

2. English was not my first language since I was the first child to an immigrant mother who taught me the only language that she knew.

As I slowly began to grow older and started going to school, I found myself in the extra support group with a couple of other kids. I never understood why I couldn't study with the other children in the classroom and why I was separated from learning the same things as them. Now, at 21 things haven't really changed much. I find it very difficult to make and maintain friends and friendships which is fuelled by my extreme anxiety. I avoid making and receiving calls at any and every cost because I find it very hard to start and keep a conversation flowing, I was recently accused of being 'short' when speaking with an acquaintance which was upsetting as I did not mean to come off as mean or uninterested, I just struggle when talking to other people and tend to keep to myself. I also recall a time when my parents forced me to make a phone call to a driving instructor, I ended up breaking down because that causes great distress but they keep putting it down as me being overly sensitive and unconfident. Earlier this year I started researching autism and symptoms of it and found that I relate to many of the symptoms which had me thinking that maybe I should ask for a diagnosis but when I tried to bring it up with my parents and asked them what I was like as a toddler growing up to gain more insight, they shut me down completely as to them, it is viewed as an abnormality and I am being 'oversensitive' yet again. I have felt very alone and I feel as though if I receive a diagnosis it will help as I would know and be aware of why I have never really fit in and can understand myself better. What would you suggest? Do you think that any of the things that I have mentioned about my experience growing up match symptoms of autism? Any advice or information about your experiences would be greatly appreciated as I am having a raging internal war inside my mind.

Parents Reply
  • I don't get how you reply on here. For an autistic website its very frustrating! Why are all the replies wonky? 

    Anyway, haha. Are you in the UK? If so diagnosis is none existent in adults and costs thousands.

Children
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