Relationships (TW Sexual Assault)

Hi everyone, 

I need some help. 
A few years ago, I was out with some friends and we had a really great time. Long story short my friend and i were alone and he was really drunk and got into a fight in the car park as the bar was closing. My friend was knocked unconscious and the guy who beat him up grabbed me, forcefully kissed me, rubbed himself all over me and groped me without consent and whilst I tried to fight back. When one of my other friends reappeared, the guy let me go and walked away. He was a big guy and it scared me. I've never spoken of it before to anyone but I think about it often. I have autism and I don't like being touched by strangers in anyway. I don't even like friends or family touching me without warning, to the point where if someone (friends or family) try to hug or kiss me without warning, I recoil on reflex. 
I haven't ever been in a relationship, but now I am afraid. I don't know how to go about even meeting people because i'm scared of a situation where someone I don't know touches me and i'm also struggling with the fear of relationships due to the story above and also how I would deal with one. During the above situation I experienced a lot of fear and still do to some extent, so I am afraid that If i was ever in that kind of relationship or situation it would feel the same and I would be afraid. 

Does anyone have any advice? I've never said any of this before to anyone and I just don't know what to do anymore. All of my friends are in relationships and constantly ask about setting me up or trying to get me to meet people - and I would like too, i'm lonely but I am afraid. 

Thanks. 

Parents
  • Hi NAS63596,

    I'm very sorry to hear about the assault you suffered and how it's affected you. I'm sure this is very difficult to talk about and opening up about it here is a great first step towards getting help and treatment with the trauma it must have caused you. A good next step for you might be to book an appointment with your GP and talk to them about it, if that's something you are comfortable doing, and see if they can refer you to a counsellor or therapist who specializes in survivors of sexual assault.

    Alternatively, there are some relevant charities and organisations that we recommend:

    Victim Support: Victim Support can give both practical help and advice, as well as emotional support to help you with coping with the situation. The practical support that Victim Support can offer includes helping you to deal with the police if you decide to report incidents. You can contact Victim Support on: 08 08 16 89 111. You can also email their Supportline via their online enquiry form, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/supportline/email-supportline 

    Please see Victim Support’s specific information covering sexual assault and consent, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/rape-and-sexual-assault

    Safeline: Safeline is a specialised charity working to prevent sexual abuse and to support those affected in their recovery. Safeline have accessible services for people with disabilities: https://www.safeline.org.uk/

    If you are interested in counselling but don't want to go through your GP, we have an online Autism Services directory where you can search for counsellors with experience of supporting autistic individuals: www.autism.org.uk/directory Please search under the category ‘Health’, then ‘Counsellors’, and then use the location options to refine the search by area.

    If you would like to speak to someone from NAS to help you with any of these options, our Autism helpline information can be found here: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support

    Hope some of this will be of some help to you,
    Best wishes,
    Ross - mod

Reply
  • Hi NAS63596,

    I'm very sorry to hear about the assault you suffered and how it's affected you. I'm sure this is very difficult to talk about and opening up about it here is a great first step towards getting help and treatment with the trauma it must have caused you. A good next step for you might be to book an appointment with your GP and talk to them about it, if that's something you are comfortable doing, and see if they can refer you to a counsellor or therapist who specializes in survivors of sexual assault.

    Alternatively, there are some relevant charities and organisations that we recommend:

    Victim Support: Victim Support can give both practical help and advice, as well as emotional support to help you with coping with the situation. The practical support that Victim Support can offer includes helping you to deal with the police if you decide to report incidents. You can contact Victim Support on: 08 08 16 89 111. You can also email their Supportline via their online enquiry form, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/supportline/email-supportline 

    Please see Victim Support’s specific information covering sexual assault and consent, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/rape-and-sexual-assault

    Safeline: Safeline is a specialised charity working to prevent sexual abuse and to support those affected in their recovery. Safeline have accessible services for people with disabilities: https://www.safeline.org.uk/

    If you are interested in counselling but don't want to go through your GP, we have an online Autism Services directory where you can search for counsellors with experience of supporting autistic individuals: www.autism.org.uk/directory Please search under the category ‘Health’, then ‘Counsellors’, and then use the location options to refine the search by area.

    If you would like to speak to someone from NAS to help you with any of these options, our Autism helpline information can be found here: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support

    Hope some of this will be of some help to you,
    Best wishes,
    Ross - mod

Children
No Data