Published on 12, July, 2020
Just before I post at any length, could someone please let me know that I am writing this in the right place? I’d love to have contact with someone about my husband who I think is undiagnosed autistic. He may be Aspergic, I have no real idea. I just know that he has some behaviour which is extremely challenging for me and also quite antisocial at times. He presents to the world as a highly capable businessman, but at home he is often more childlike. He has tantrums and tempers. He has unusual aversions and equally unusual fixations. We’ve been together 35 years. I’m exhausted and frayed and he has no idea. He’s also fraught at times but that passes and he’s forgotten it. Id love to be in contact with anyone who has any understanding of such a situation
My husband also has recently been thought to be aspergic. He's 59 and we've been married 7 hellish years which autism would explain. We love each other but I'm despairing as he seems unable to cope with the slightest stress and can't sem to remember or learn. He wants to love and be kind but finds empathy hard. I'm lonely.
Hello. I just want to say, I have no answers for you but I really empathise. I am also lonely and wonder why I’m still with him. I see our friends’ relationships and wish we could talk and share and have an intimate understanding of each other, like they have. And they really do have, not only when we’re with them. if like me, you’re an emotional and demonstrative person, the detachment is bewildering. I have closer relationships with shopkeepers than I do with my husband, but, I realise when the chips are down, he will be there supporting me in the way he can. Spouses like us spend our time trying to compromise, walking on eggshells, pouring the oil onto the troubled water, keeping the peace. We feel neglected, unappreciated and unloved. Today I’ve been reading replies and posts here from various people, both with and without autism and I’m beginning to understand a little of what my husband is all about and maybe a little of what he feels. I’ve tried everything I can think of to make our relationship work as I’m sure you have. As you say, you love each other. We even had counselling several times, but no counsellor believed me when I said I suspected autism was in our relationship. I have no answers for you. All I have is a virtual hug across the ether.