Published on 12, July, 2020
I think I have autism. I have only really thought about this deeply in the past two months but the more I read, the more I am sure. I read papers and articles on autism in females and how sometimes it can be hidden or masked. I am 23, and have always had problems with communication, I remember as a child hating birthday parties, hiding under tables and locking myself in rooms to get away. I remember avoiding conversations by simply going mute. I have always had unstable friendships and even now, I cling to my boyfriend as a support and he is the only one I have to talk to. He doesn't think that I have autism. He thinks that I am just difficult and shy. A label I am all too familiar with. I was always "nervous, shy and quiet". I have, what I thought was nervous tics, I shake my legs and hands and I rub my ears and neck. I hate loud music and sounds but I love the feeling of the vibration from the speakers. I can't stand loud talking or eating, crowds of people scare me and communication is only made when completely necessary. I avoid eye contact and cannot engage in social chit chat. I could go on. I have taken various online screening tests such as RAADS and AQ, scoring high in both.. A 191 in raads and a 37 in AQ. I haven't asked my parents as honestly I am scared to, I feel like they will brush it off and say that im OK, but I know in my heart that there is something different about me, something that affects my behaviour and social life every day. Any advice for next steps would be greatly appreciated, and if there is anyone there who has gone through the same thing please reach out. I feel alone.
From what you've written, pursuing a diagnosis seems like a logical step. I sought my diagnosis in my 30s and many people (whose only knowledge of autism was through outdated stereotypes) told me I couldn't possibly be autistic. I am.
When you approach your GP about a ref it would help if you could write down examples of how you meet the criteria:
https://mamapineappleblog.wordpress.com/getting-assessed-a-personal-perspective/my-dsm-v-mapping/