Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there, good morning to all.
How is everyone?
Hope all of you are well.
It has been a while since I last used the community forum page.
For those, who don't much about me.
I am autistic since age 15.
I live with my Mother and Sister in London.
I do have other siblings (me being the youngest).
As well as other relatives.
What has brought me here today is partly because of what happened then/what is happening now.
To elaborate, during past times in particular final days, saying goodbye etc.
I do find that a problem.
But, I am sure I am not the only one.
Since primary school. I haven't taken too kindly or coped well with endings or farewells.
At the time, I was too young to understand transition and growing up.
But, it is more of the recent events at a college (I use to attend).
I initially, joined the college under a supported internship course.
With the aim of securing a job whilst learning work-related skills and going under an internship.
When I first joined the college two years ago, I couldn't even stand the place or individuals there.
My perception wasn't that great to start with.
It was a mixture of feelings, nervousness and fear of failing or potentially becoming attached.
Despite still disliking the place and having difficulties.
I have learnt more things than I ever thought possible.
Whether it be self discovery, challenging thoughts, getting to the real truth.
And it made me realise that there was a lot more hidden areas that I never fully acknowledged or had the right amount of support.
I have had so many not-so-good days.
In turn, I have had a lot more positive days.
I do miss some parts such as the friendships or those who made me feel great and welcoming.
Before, I knew it.
I started to believe in myself and learned to trust others.
I am not saying to tell everything on the spot.
But, I could feel a sense of history repeating itself.
One of the things, I was fearful about.
Being too attached to someone.
Long story short though college has ended.
I have now secured a role in employment as a Facilities Assistant.
As much as I try to adjust to my role and 'moving forward'.
I am still struggling with that.
But, its not all bittersweet.
I have secured my first ever job despite all the trials and tribulations.
Such as going all above and beyond various sectors/providers one being from my local borough.
The odds were stacked against me.
Even I, started to believe I wouldn't have a job.
I look back but I also look forward.
Congratulations on your new job! We all have our good days and bad days, but it sounds like you have a positive attitude and have had lots of achievements (college is really hard, as is job hunting).
I hope it goes well for you