Relationship

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I'm an adult with asd, I'm really struggling to explain to my partner what autism is and how I cant just change to suit his needs 

His first problem is affection, I dont really like it, I dont give affection alot unless he comes to me it's not just with him it's with everyone I've learnt when a cuddle is expected so will give one then but I dont like it I do it because it's a seen as normal but he sees that as me not loving him 

Next is I'm quite literal if I'm asked where I've been today I'll answer I've been in town, instead of me and partner went into town and we done xyz, to me ive answered the question they asked they didnt ask who I was with or what we done they asked where I was but he says that just shows I'm ashamed to be with him which I'm not if they then went on to say who where you with I'd say I was with him

He also complains we dont spend enough time together but we are together all the time, does it really matter if we sit together watching soaps or a film? We're still sitting together looking at the tv does it really matter what's on it? he says watching soaps is different to choosing a film and watching it together but mostly it's a film he wants to watch that I'm not enjoying anyway or he wants to play computer games that I cant play as I dont have the coordination and just get frustrated and angry so it's either I sit and watch him play which I find boring anyway or I try and end up getting worked up and we'll end up fighting dur to frustration

I spend all day following the social norms that are expected when I'm home I just want to be me but now I feel like I have to continue the act and its exhausting, when do i get to be me? I feel like I'm constantly acting constantly thinking what's the norm here? I'm just exhausted all the time 

Parents
  • Reading this is just like looking at myself in the mirror Blush. I am going to get relationship therapy with an autism psychologist because I am completely stuck with these problems.  Maybe I will get some tips I can pass on. 

Reply
  • Reading this is just like looking at myself in the mirror Blush. I am going to get relationship therapy with an autism psychologist because I am completely stuck with these problems.  Maybe I will get some tips I can pass on. 

Children