Pre Diagnosis issues

Even though I have been on this journey for almost a year, i still struggle with what causes meltdowns and the such. I also struggle with recognising the signs until it's too late. 

As I'm not diagnosed, my employer won't give me any lee way. Which is causing me more anxiety. 

I seem to be in a vicious circle at the moment. 

I can't take any sick because I won't get paid, which will add to my anxiety. I have already had to take holiday time as sick leave.