My mum does not accept my aspergers diagnosis

Hi

I can empathise with how frustrating this can be - my mum would not accept my bipolar diagnosis. In the end, I don't think trying to reason works. Time heals, so that you no longer find it annoying that your mum is denying a part of you. A couple of months ago, I found the bipolar Wiki page open on her phone, so she is coming around. Maybe something similar will happen with your mum. I'd say, for both her and yourself, give it time. Try to utilise the support that you do have for autism other than your mum, so that you are being looked after in that respect.

Hope this helps

fair enough :)

You guys don't know my mum. She doesn't accept me and doesn't understand why I 'won't' just be a normal person. It's compliated and I don't think I should've brought it up yet actually. I do appreciate your replies though. This is the first place I do feel recognised.

I work with developers and its a pretty tough job where I am.  do u have 2 jobs ?

Would like the same change career software developer is a good job and good pay

I work in retail and pizza chef at moment. 

i am a software tester what do u work at ? just curious u dont have to say if u dont want to. Sometimes i think of changing career :) 

This is right and brilliant. Thumbs up what a nice message. Fantastic what you wrote. 

Hello yes I have experienced this and is horrible when you don’t receive family support, my parents split up whilst being young, but only got diagnosed at my later stages, my Dads family think it’s a load of rubbish I have this label too, they think my Mum planned it to get benefits from me, to solve the problem I got on my two feet and work instead of getting benefits, also the positive note I feel more independent and happier knowing you can do anything you put your mind too with or without a learning difficulty. 

Some days I struggle or get paranoid but on the upper hand I’m proud of earning my coin like normal people and don’t feel guilty receiving benefits even I may be entitled to them. I will never know the truth if my label is done fake or I have a struggle, but all you can do is only try your best and if the outcome is good, be proud of yourself that you have achieved something in life, an I’m sorry your Mum is unsupportive with you and go find support somewhere who does believe your label, an don’t let anything make you feel unhappy or pull you down with Aspergers it not, go out and live your life with your head up and just for the peace go to the doctors with your Mum and go speak to your GP with your Mum in front of them to explain if she’s struggling to get intelligence IQ, the GP will give her an understanding and open up about the specialists who know about neurological and development disorders!!!!!!!!!

Hope you start to look positive and don’t limit things with Aspergers, if you feel happy to learn to drive, you want to work, own your business, be a film actress or what ever your dream go fulfil it cause your no different then anyone else except all you have is a development disorder which can be rectified with support teachers or help with someone you trust to get you back on the right path. Keep your head up girl and know you will be fantastic. 

Your mum thinks your perfect. She may want you to focus on what you can do, like a good parent. Also she may be seeing the more severe versions of autism. But by all means get a diagnosis. Then wait a while one month or so for you to take it in,  then decide if you want to show her your diagnosis in the form of a document. She will still be your mum and has your back..

You are recognised and accepted by those around you - you are exactly the same person they've always known and accepted.    They just don't like your new label.

Yes, but it makes me sad because I feel like I should be able to tell my mother. We all should, we deserve to be recognised, especially by the people close to us. 

from what you just said,  probably a good idea, wouldn't you agree ?

If I ever do get a formal diagnonis I don't think I can tell my mum, for this exact reason. She works in a residential home for adults with learning disabilities, when describing one of the residents who is autistic she told me "she's a lovely girl, it's such a shame". I believe this is the same reason she didn't get me diagnosed as a young child, despite it being suggested by a health visitor. She didn't want an autistic child, so decided her child isn't autistic. If I told her I am she'd be convinced I'm pretending just to spite her.

so true

My container is my NASA Control room - surrounded by Computers and displays.

I used to have my automobiles as a focus too although as I got older (younger than I expected) then I had to reduce that hobby.

Sometimes people only see it as a Disability, my little James/Jane is not disabled, they cannot be.  The person is still the same and it has opened the world to help identify the strengths that person has.  As you say she would recognise Dyslexia but not Aspergers.

In my situations, I will sometimes walk away somewhere to get away from the triggers (chit-chat) and sometimes focus on my strengths (little things that I can do and think of them as little victories in my steps back to feeling less).  

Have you thought about noise cancelling headphones, listening to music/sounds on the office?

Do you understand what your triggers may be for feeling like you do?

I have identified some and the key for me is the deaf management/colleagues that have no concept/care of those of us that are different.

cool - my nephew has his own outhouse and it is full of tools ad RC planes and other projects. what is in your container ?

I just stay away from my family. They struggle to deal with the fact that i am just different but not broken. Fortunately at work i have a shipping container in the carpark that is my workshop so I can bugger off there if i want to most of the time.

not everyone will accept your diagnosis. i work in loud office i have ear defenders on all the time. they help concentration and stress greatly.   your mum is trying to stop u thinkin yourself into a bad mental state. she has a point. but an aspie diagnosis is significant. go meet some aspies an see if they are like you.  let your mum be your mum, she is on your side no matter what. enjoy having someone who has got your back. Also have a wee look around your family you may not be alone.   learn how to reduce anxiety (mindfulness / meditation).  its normal for someone on the spectrum to be stressed by office talking because they are louder to u by quite a factor.  you probably have very good hearing