Published on 12, July, 2020
It seems a lot of people feel that way going into the assessment. Feel like I'm going to be wasting their time. Also feel unprepared because I haven't been obsessively looking at all things autism in the last couple of weeks since my assessment was rescheduled (as I had been doing the last few months...). Don't know how to prepare myself for them telling me I don't have it and you're back to square one. Of course if I don't then I don't and that's fine, but it'll be hard. I also have to leave my dogs alone for a few hours while I'm at the assessment and I'll just end up worrying about whether they're okay. Almost feel like I don't want to go. I will because I have waited a long time and I need closure either way but I feel wrong about it somewhow. Anyway. If anyone is interested I will let you know how it goes.
I've been waiting for several months and just received some questionnaires to fill in before attending. I completely understand what you mean about feeling like a fraud - I'm constantly questioning myself (e.g. I'll be having lots of sensory issues and wonder whether it's all in my head). I've wondered whether I'm autistic for years and have only just had the courage to join this group today; I felt I didn't really belong here until I was sure I was a part of the autistic community. Having said that, I've just reached a point where I want to be able to reach out for advice.
The advice I'm trying to give myself is:
- Anyone who suspects they're autistic has very good reason for doing so - whether our traits are autism or not, the challenges and experiences we have are real.
- I've nothing to lose by getting an assessment (don't get me wrong - "feeling" autistic has been such a big part of my identity that I'm scared of having that taken away, but I would come to terms with it and explore other ways to help myself).
- The assessment day will probably be tough, but it could give me the answers I need and help me get to know myself better - that's a lifelong benefit.
In terms of your dogs, I'm sure they'll keep each other company. Dogs have no concept of time, so as long as they have water and one another, they'll be okay for a few hours.
Best of luck for your assessment - I'd be interested to know how it goes.
DuckBread said:Anyone who suspects they're autistic has very good reason for doing so - whether our traits are autism or not, the challenges and experiences we have are real.
That's the main thing I think. Nobody 'wants to be autistic', you have your reasons for going this far. And you deserve a respectful answer one way or the other.
Thank you both. This really helps. I've never had much self-esteem and never been sure of my interpretations of experiences so I struggle to take my own difficulties seriously, especially while I'm going through a good phase. Like if I've had a good day with friends I feel like I can't possibly autistic if I can have fun with friends. I know it's a stupid way of thinking.
No problem and it's not stupid. The more I read these forums, the more I realise those feelings are very normal.