I try and mask when I'm on my own

I realised the other day that I mask when I'm on my own, or try to - I try and imagine someone's watching my behaviour. I've done this since I was a kid. Maybe I've been trying to act 'normal' to try and make myself feel normal? It's basically thinking I'm 'wrong' the way I am. No wonder I'm stressed half the time! I've been trying to consciously let myself be me, flaws, weird behaviour and all, but it's hard to undo a lifetime of conditioning, especially as I only realised I was very likely ASD a couple of years ago, so am still coming to terms with what this means. I've only recently realised that what I do (with others and on my own) is masking. Does anyone else do this?

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