Published on 12, July, 2020
Back in October my pretend brother stopped talking to me and wouldn't have anything to do my family . This was all because of what someone else said I did and he wouldn't listen to my side of the story.
My husband made a bit of Lee way with him last month by meeting up with him. He said that it wasn't just because of that but also because of something else that he wouldn't say.
Only thing I can think of is that the day I got mw diagnosis in March I texted not just him but others saying "I am am autistic mother with an autistic child" which his fiance thinks is emotional manipulation. It wasn't. I was stating a fact.
This whole thing goes round and round in my head most days as I don't know how I can ever make this right.
I just don't know what to do .
Yes - the fiance sound like a manipulating sh** stirrer.
Your brother is being an ass an his fiancee sounds like a treacherous toxic bat. He should support your condition. Best x
Sorry to hear of your position.
Unfortunately, people's lives are complex and loaded with stress, lies and their own problems. You may have sounded incredibly selfish and manipulative - and you might have inadvertently said other things that all added up to a huge red flag to him. Suddenly telling people who have know you for years that you are suddenly autistic can cause confusion because they can't comprehend it, disbelief because 'you can't be autistic' and anger because it feels like you are dumping your problems onto them.
I can only suggest you ask your husband to talk to him again and explain that you don't expect anything of him but please can he understand that you might accidentally say things that are inappropriate and that there is no malice or manipulation in anything you say and if you say something incorrect, please not to take offence but to ask for clarification - which you will willingly give.
Get him to explain that you are unable to process the current situation and for him to tell you the honest position so you know where you stand - whichever way he wants it - but please be truthful and straight with you.
Good luck with it all.
He was always so good with our autistic son
The impression I have is he doesn't understand disability. There are a sizeable amount of people like that. They can take requests for adaptations for disabled people as personal slights or uppity demands.
Unfortunately sometimes these people are in our own families!
I have texted him several times since and he hasn't replied
You could say/text to the brother that you were trying to get people to understand you better and it was nothing personal.
If they keep on not talking to you after that, I'd say they're being petty and it's they're just not a very reasonable person.