My partner has autism and we are struggling

Hello,

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years, we are engaged and in December she was diagnosed with autism, high-functioning.  She was 28 at time of diagnosis which hasn’t helped. 

I am a ‘neurotypical’ and I am trying to understand why she does certain things and sometimes I know I don’t react in the best way I possibly could, which is why I am turning to this site, in hope that there may be other partners out there that have coping strategies or can just help me to be better for her because currently it is quite lonely and sad and I feel like I’m suffocating a bit. It’s a heavy weight. 

I am reading ‘An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis’ by Gillian Drew in an attempt to be more understanding. 

I work away quite a bit as a Tour Manager, for musicians, which can make coping more difficult. For both of us. In August, I will be travelling around America for almost 7 weeks. Currently, I have been in Scotland for just ONE week and we have had an ‘autistic incident’. I don’t know how to refer to it, so apologies if I offend anyone. 

Emotions when touring are tenfold. 

Also, sometimes, when I return from a tour; it feels like I’m out of her routine a bit and she needs to readjust to my being there, which can be upsetting. 

If there are any books to be recommended, or other sites, I’d be truly grateful. 

Thank you in advance. 

Carly.