Hi, I am wondering what peoples views are on whether autism/ASD is hereditary. My daughter, now 18, was diagnosed age 15. Her assessment came as a result of being an inpatient for a severe eating disorder. 6 months later my son was diagnosed at age 19. Neither my husband or myself have been diagnosed or assessed but I can't help wondering how we managed to bring our lovely children up for 15 years without picking up on the ASD. My daughter was always anxious but it appeared to be manageable. Retrospectively it clearly was not manageable and she ended up very ill.
Anyhow, I was wondering if the reason that we hadn't picked up on any ASD traits is because in our house eveybody's behaviors is perfectly typical. When we discussed how they played as children both my husband and me said to the psychologist 'but doesn't everyone play like that?'. In the tasks that they did for the ADOS they gave responses that we thought were typical responses. My husband has always been widely regarded as eccentric but he has been very fortunate in his employment in that everyone loves him for his eccentricity (including me). I myself am extremely introverted and hate social situations, avoiding them at all costs unless absolutely unavoidable. So I was wondering if the reason why both my children have ASD could be because either me or my husband (or both) unknowingly have it, and maybe that is why we haven't picked it up in our children. That is to say in our house ASD is normal and most others walking through our front door are in effect neuro atypical! I would appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.
Both of my parents are neurotypical and nobody in close family has any kind of mental disability so nobody gets me and I don’t get them either. It’s difficult when interacting with them because my views can be seen as extreme or irrelevant due to who I am.
This may be why my best friend has bipolar and Aspergers, I don’t know whether being autistic is good or bad. It is often passed down but can also just occur out of the blue.
Sometimes i think I am unwanted by my family just because i am special and have certain needs. It’s difficult to explain to them because I’m smarter than most of them but I can’t talk to people very well.
Life is just so confusing.
I would say that the point that they don't get you is because they may well be on the autism spectrum. Which is highly likely and they just can't see it. Rigid thinking goes both ways and is very autistic.
When you begin reading up on autism signals you will see yourself and you will see your parents and grandparents in a different way.
They are not gods, just your parents.
Having bipolar or any other mental illness is not autism. They sometimes are just there or seem to be there because of the autism-related stress.
Being autistic can be stressful and can be wonderful. Try and make it wonderful. And if it's not, try again.
Life is confusing, and autistics are very good at puzzles. Try looking at some more positive aspects of what you have. Or try and pursue these:
Art; Science; math; medicine; law; music; singing. I even started skateboarding in my 20s. And now in my 40s trying keyboarding and law.
At whatever age you are you have a chance.
But my parents are completely different to me in most ways apart from my dad liking sport. They have no autistic traits at all which kind of makes me feel like a failure because other than intellect and physical ability they are better at everything than me.
i do try to focus on the positives and I will for most of the month and then for a few days slump into a bad emotional state. I can’t tell what it is because I have alexithymia.
I do pursue art, music , science and history to the ends that I relate everything to those subjects.
My friend is the only one who gets me so my mental health is dependent on a few major features so if one falls then they all fall.
Very much like my daughter it sounds like you vastly underestimate your abilities. My daughter can only identify the things that everyone else is good at and which she is not so good,. She cannot recognise that she is extremely intelligent, musically talented and a very eloquent writer. You yourself have identified your intellect, physical abilities, artistic and musical interests but you cannot recognise them as strengths but more as something hardly worth me filming. II haven't found a way to convince my daughter that she has skills well beyond some of her peers and it seems you have the same issue. I assume this is an ASD trait. I wish I had an answer because your perception of failure is very unfortunate and most likely not perceived that way by your family, although obviously I do not know them so could be wrong, It is good you have someone who understands you. These type of friends are beyond measure.
lol. Laughing at self. because you reminded me of someone I know someone who can play the highest grade in 8 instruments and says, she is not very good.
I think this is because you find these things easy.
Talent is what you find easy and others find hard.
I've been told by psychiatrists and other people I'm highly/very intelligent. I see myself as being mediocre or poor at a lot of things, with no special ability at anything . I have much higher verbal than non-verbal ability, but see the latter and poor executive functioning as what defines me best in terms of ability.
I do mostly what I’m good at like sport and mathematics but there are certain grey areas.
The one thing I can’t do at any time is when someone tells me to dance because I don’t understand what to do. I just sit or stand around because although I love music, it’s only certain types.
I would be more suited to being a bouncer or MI5 agent because through my eyes everything is a mission and I will do anything to complete the mission.
I can’t play an instrument but I occasionally sing to songs with the instrumental and always have headphones on.I don’t wear noise cancelling headphones cause I want to hear if a burglar comes so I can jump him and defend my house.
I can’t play an instrument to save my life but could probably win a war for a country depending on their economic power.