Is autism hereditary?

Jenny Butterfly said:

Plus, of course, i can't believe it was EVER considered OK to describe someone as a "sheep" or to slap  a pupil's face.  What on earth!

It absolutely is not OK and if it were to happen to my children I'd be outraged. But because it happened to me I'm weirdly OK with, I've learnt to deal with a lot, even at that age. I remember it but it didn't scar me, when I think back I have no emotion attached to that memory. If anything it makes me smile, I was standing up for my younger brother at the time.

I remember a lot of bullying at primary school that was simply ignored. It usually only got dealt with when those who were being bullied had enough and hit back. I was bullied too, but again, I have no emotional attachment to those memories. I blanked it out. I don't even know if I was aware at the time I was being bullied.

Yes, my sons both went to primary school in the 90s and both we and the school completely missed their (and our!) autism.  With hindsight we feel really shocked at ourselves. 

But we raised issues like socialising and all round development at parents evenings and were reassured that everything was fine.  It wasn't.

My older son now tells me that there was loads of bullying which was completely ignored by the school (and not reported to us) and that the dinner ladies in particular knew what was going on and did nothing.  I'm not surprised he's angry about it all.

Surely more was known in the 90s?  I am looking back with incomprehension (although some of that is actually against myself). 

Plus, of course, i can't believe it was EVER considered OK to describe someone as a "sheep" or to slap  a pupil's face.  What on earth!

I went to primary school in the early 90s, not that long ago. When I first started I became mute and didn't talk (at home I was fine). The school bluntly phoned my mother and she was asked 'what's wrong with your child, did you know he can't talk?'. It upset her at the time but no support was put in place, I was just considered the weird kid who didn't talk at school. They decided to 'fix' me by putting a new child who joined the school (a known trouble maker from his previous school) next to me in every class to 'get me out of my shell'. It completely worked, so much so, my behaviour flipped on it's head. Instead of being the quiet kid who conformed I became loud and naughty and copied my new best friend - I went from one extreme to another. That was the only intervention put in place for me. For the next few years at each parent's evening I was described as a 'sheep'. Of course, that was all their doing and makes me laugh when I look back... Short-sighted idiots...

A dinner lady once slapped me across my face too... I was then made to stand in a room with other teachers and apologise TO HER for my actions. Can you imagine if that happened in 2019!! I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Exactly.  It didn't cross my mind I might be autistic because, even after I first heard of autism, it seemed like something quite rare that would totally prevent the kind of functioning I saw in my family.  

Our difficulties seemed to be more related to having the kind of personality that didn't fit with the mainstream and left us isolated and excluded for much of the time.

Yes, I actually saw this happen with a couple of my classmates.  Generally no help was offered and more often kids were blamed for their difficulties.  I find it astounding because this was not, after all, the dark ages.

c1962-63  I was assessed for what it now call cerebral palsy at Great Ormond street. This was because my first school in Thailand had voiced concerns. The result was negative and alternatives were not explored. School reports from 8-18 noted things like poor coordination, bad at drawing and writing,disorganised,messy, but there was no attempt   to join the pieces together and suggest help was needed.

Yeah - back in the day, they just bunged all the 'special' or disruptive kids into the remedial class - there was no effort to diagnose or help them, it was all about keeping them away from everyone else.

I only really heard the term autism being used when Rain Man was the big thing.

Never considered I was remotely autistc - they all flapped and rocked - according to tv.

Also, the big thing is it was pre-internet - so information was so much harder to come by so parents had to accept what their gp told them - right or wrong.

Yes, over forty years ago the diagnosis rates were much, much lower too.  When i went to school in the 60s/70s I doubt very much whether it was even on their radar at all.  I personally don't remember hearing the term "autistic" back then.    

My father said when I asked him  that he could see no signs of autism in me as a child.  That being  44-62 years ago  it's probable he was thinking of much narrower definitions of it that were around at that time.

Once I started looking for traits or, more often, clusters of traits, I found a lot more evidence within my wider family.  

Of course, many of them have a very narrow idea of what autism is, which means they instantly reject the idea.  When, however we're looking for difficulties in socialising or interpersonal skills, the conversation loosens up.  Likewise when we talk about reclusive behaviours or even terms such as "breakdown" or "bad nerves", which the older generation seem to use more readily.

Overall I find that, since the whole field of autism has developed and changed over the generations and previous generations framed some issues differently, there's actually a language barrier in this area.  And it might all change again for future generations.  But the underlying issues remain the same.  

Both of my parents are neurotypical and nobody in close family has any kind of mental disability so nobody gets me and I don’t get them either. It’s difficult when interacting with them because my views can be seen as extreme or irrelevant due to who I am.

This may be why my best friend has bipolar and Aspergers, I don’t know whether being autistic is good or bad. It is often passed down but can also just occur out of the blue. 

Sometimes i think I am unwanted by my family just because i am special and have certain needs. It’s difficult to explain to them because I’m smarter than most of them but I can’t talk to people very well.

Life is just so confusing.

Now I have started my journey, discussing with distant relations as well as some sayings I was told by my parents then it is definitely hereditary from both parents sides of my ancestry.  I have the paternal hand movements (stimming) and stubbornness/fixations too.  I also think my maternal side from a too trusting/gullibility perspective also.

I said there were no signs of autism in my parents. However in the assessment report it says my stepdaughter  has said my father has quite a few similar traits to me.

In my personal experience, yes!

Hey :) 

A lot of research suggests that autism is at least partially genetic, although the levels found range anywhere from 20% to 80% by most accounts. Part of the problem is that autism doesn't appear to be linked to one specific gene, but more likely a combination of genes, and even then, the environment contributes to the presence or absence of autism. It's a complex issue that will take time for fully uncover.

Much love <3

I would say that both my parents have it, I wonder about my sister and wonder if she has just managed to appear normal as girls do. My parents ended up divorcing amid a lot of rows which at the time appeared to be my mothers cause but I think the blame is mutual. they have just got back together again but living seperately and with no more family interfearance.

I know of no signs of ASD in my parents and siblings. 

I would say the genetic link is probably best explained as there being a higher chance of having children on the spectrum if you or your partner is. Looking back through the generations in my family, I never met my father but he has always been described as "odd", both my grandfather's were somewhat reclusive (said very little unless it was about trains or something that interested then. Would often disappear to the shed if there was lots of people around) and going back further I've heard stories about eccentric uncles etc. It was never picked up in me when I was a child because, as you say about your family, my behaviours were considered normal by my own families standards.

Very sound advice.   Despite my negativity regarding my son's diagnosis he is actually embracing it and receiving help from his Uni (he is studying physics) and is prepared to accept help so that is good news.   However,  my daughter although accepting of the fact she has ASD, refuses any help of any kind from anyone.   I think this is partly a result of the traumatic experience she has had of being a CAMHS inpatient for 2.5 years as a result of her eating disorder.   Her perception of people trying to help her is associated with being made to do things she didn't want to do (including restraint unfortunately) and because her thought patterns are so rigid she cannot believe that someone trying to help her will end well!  Still,  there is light at the end of the tunnel possibly as she was discharged last week and is studying Wildlife Conservation.   You're right about acceptance though.   Until she fully embraces her differences her self esteem will remain very poor.  Her self esteem is so bad and i think this led to her eating disorder.   She accepts she has ASC but she says there is nothing that can be done about it that's just the way she is.   However,  what she hasn't accepted yet,  and as you alluded to,  is that there is nothing wrong with the way she is.   She is very intelligent,  a fantastic pianist and a very caring individual but she cannot see any of this. 

For me, being able to say to people "I have ASD/Asperger's Syndrome and this means.... <insert explanation of why I may do/have done something odd/that caused upset etc.> " has taken a ton of stress off me and has actually reduced the frequency of 'incidents'.

I think it's important to have a 'mentor' if you're struggling with the diagnosis - this could help your daughter and also (if he went that route) your son - seeing a positive role model for what ASD looks like 'In real life' vs. the (overwhelmingly negative) list of diagnostic traits and (naively ill-informed) portrayals of aspies/auties in popular media could help them understand the areas that having ASD means they can excel in.

I'm a Business Analyst in IT - I am brilliant at it and I think I would be a shadow of myself in this area if I didn't have ASD.

There are a lot of engineering types here.

Self-acceptance is key to happiness, using precious energy trying to 'mask' is ultimately futile and will only lead to low self-esteem when one constantly fails to 'pass' as NT