The problem with providing supporting evidence

Is that sometimes facts can be interspersed with a negative picture of you that reflects a deep rooted antipathy/resentment  towards you.

A picture  that is removed from how things actually were. It  can be as much about passing negative comment as it can be about providing

supporting details  to  help with your assessment. That's the situation with the letter my sister wrote.

  • I like Kisun's example, being 'stubborn and argumentative' would be read as 'being fixated and have trouble seeing things from another's perspective'.

    Yes I could be stubborn. My sister always used to throw out the jibe that I had to be right. It was a favourite line of attack when we disagreed on something.. Of course that meant she thought she was right and not me. Ie she had to be right. It's like her looking in a mirror and seeing me and not herself.

    It wasn't all bad , I agree, just that some parts weren't as good or supportive as others.

  • I know. I'm just trying to look on the bright side and keep positive. I'm also judging based on my own standards. If a relative was giving me their 'opinion' of a patient, I would apply a filter to decide what was fact and what was purely their opinion, if that makes sense? I'd like to think that most clinicians could do this, probably a lot better than I am able to.

  • Yeah, I agree with Kitsun. A good clinician should be able to view the descriptions neurally, regardless of the tone it was presented in. I like Kisun's example, being 'stubborn and argumentative' would be read as 'being fixated and have trouble seeing things from another's perspective'. And based on the excerpt you posted previously from your sister's letter, it didn't seem at all negative to me, it sounded quite neutral. E.g., I think traits like "shy" is quite neutral. Anyway, I think she took the effort of writing a letter, and maybe you could try to appreciate this as well. You can also try to explain your perspective more when you have your meeting with the clinician. 

  • But opinions of opinions are doomed to be misinterpreted.  All feels a bit risky.

  • The clinicians should still be able to pick out bits that point to ASD. For example if you were described by a family member as being stubborn and argumentative (I'm not saying that you were, this is merely an example to illustrate a point) then the clinicians would read it as you're quite fixed and unable to see things from other people's perspective. I know it must be a worry but honestly, they know what they're doing and will have had a lot of experience doing it. I was diagnosed without any supporting evidence form family members what-so-ever so it's not the be all and end all.

  • Yes-that is certainly the case with my father.  I told him and he said he could see no signs that I might be on the spectrum. Much of that could be because  he's going on a historical  depiction of autism,when it was restricted to more severe cases,  rather than a contemporary one. I didn't press him to provide evidence as that and his patchy recall of my early childhood would have been counterproductive .

  • This where I find the process difficult - your family are suddenly needed to fill in forms for something they may deny or don't understand and their accidental answers could scupper your application.

  • Yes-  I guess they must get their fare share of negative comments from other family members. There's still quite a lot of stigma when it comes to ASD.

  • I suppose I could have edited it before sending it to my stepdaughter to print out for me. I didn't think to do so though. There's been no further feedback from my sister.

  • I'm sorry to hear that your sister's report was negative. As bad as that is though, the clinicians carrying out the assessment will have a lot of experience dealing with this type of thing and will be more than able to filter what they are reading and pick out the bits that are relevant to ASD and leave the bits that are just your sister making a nasty comment. They may still ask you about it in your next assessment, but you could use it to provide further evidence of ASD, such as not being able to see things from your sister's perspective or understand what made her write such things. 

  • Sounds very disheartening, to say the least.  Has your sister said anything about it?  in my son's case, I would feel the need to counter it all by mentioning the positives but I guess much depends on the person and their understanding of the situation and its possible effects on you. 

  • I can understand the need to pinpoint negatives in terms of how something affects you. However these were more indicative of providing what she saw as character/personality flaws. The letter combined factual stuff that may support a diagnosis with a negative portrayal of me as a person.

  • One of the issues we had we the assessments, both my older son and I, was that many of the questions seem designed to elicit negative information and that, once the ball is rolling, it becomes easier to add to that and keep it all in the same vein. 

    I didn't get a report myself, just a diagnosis letter (the NHS at it's finest!) but the detailed report that my son received after his private assessment came with a stern warning from the lead psychologist - to remember when reading the report that this in no way reflects the totality of you.  The process is simply zooming in on the ways in which you meet the diagnostic criteria and these are framed in negative terms - the typical deficits approach of the DSM.  She reminded him before letting him have sight of the report of all of his stengths and aptitudes and that a "whole person" report would have looked very different.  

    I cannot of course say that there's no antipathy/resentment reflected in your sister's negative comments - your gut feeling is probably informed by years of experience with your family - but my thoughts are that the assessment process might also contribute and encourage this bringing forth of the negatives.  I certainly felt that way as a parent when they interviewed me about my son.  It felt similar to when I complete DWP forms.  They upset me because the picture is completely negative.  And then I worry about what my sons might think if/when they read this stuff.  I'd ideally want to go back and balance it all up with the missing positives but, of course, the process doesn't call for that.        

  • Then that's a trait of ASD - you were given an instruction and completed it - it never occured to you that others would not be supportive - you could add that as more evidence. Smiley

  • Perhaps I should have done, but didn't.   My sister is not in denial that there are things that point to possible ASD, but she paints a very negative picture of me within that.  Like it's a character/personality fault as much as anything else.

  • Surely you filter all of the evidence supplied?   My mum was in total denial - I wouldn't have bothered asking her.