Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
I am in need of your advice. I’m a 29 year old teacher and I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety for a number of years. I’ve been through CBT and on anti-depressants but I don’t feel like it’s made much of a difference. I feel that these conditions are stemming from the fact I might have Aspergers. I’ve always struggled with social situations and reading adults (I’m fine with understanding children), and I feel that it’s getting worse as I’m getting older. I had a massive disaster at work today all because I misread the situation and then didn’t understand why people got angry. I feel the world is an overwhelming place, every day seems to be getting more difficult. I struggle with change and I won’t drive to places I don’t know. I have to have a routine and if anything changes I get anxious/angry.
What do you think I should do? Please can you help me because I feel that it’s getting worse and I don’t know who to turn to.
Thank you.
You have come to the right place, your instincts are intact, so please be sure of that, because that’s a big massive bonus. So a big Well Done to you for that and a nice big Aspe Welcome as well. You will always be welcome here, with or without a diagnosis. We might get pedantic about a lot of things, but that isn't one of them, so you are very welcome here.
There are some good books out there on autism and also some really great YouTube videos on some of the distressing aspects of autism, by autistic people, such as the obsessive compulsive catastrophic black and white rigid thinking patterns that many of us have. There is much you can do to begin to understand yourself better, through the framework of autism, as well as, of course, reading through the posts on here and talking to people on here, as you are doing
A diagnosis is necessary, for some people, for different reasons, but in terms of doing something about what you are experiencing, a diagnosis isn’t necessary. The most important thing is getting to know yourself better through understanding autism and how it affects you. You’ll find that many of the things you do, that you just thought were you, are actually aspects/traits of autism and with persistence and practice, it is absolutely possible to overcome the distressing or self limiting aspects of autism and to really make the most of the other aspects that can really benefit and enhance our lives.
The diagnosis itself, can be beneficial in itself, for some people, but it’s more about what we do with the diagnosis or new found awareness, that makes all the difference. It’s also very common for undiagnosed adults, to get to a certain point in their life when things appear to be getting worse, but it is usually a sign that our previous coping mechanisms are no longer working as well as they did and we’re starting to unravel, slowly. But you’ve caught it in relatively good time and there is much you can do. So this is good.
Are you meeting the basic needs such as enough rest and relaxation, time out for fun, fresh air, daily exercise, eating well, sleeping well, good self care? These are always important and you might want to re-jig some of them, in light of new self awareness, but they’re always crucial and we can build on them as our awareness grows.
You can find information on the main NAS site in NICE guidelines for getting an assessment of autism, as an adult, I’ll see if I can get the link - https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx
Take your time, read up, talk to us here and know, that it’s ok, it’s all ok, you've got this, you’re in the right place and things will get better. If you need to, at work, you can let them know you’re exploring the possibility of you being ASD as you have noticed a lot of the things you are experiencing internally, are showing up externally, as problems and they relate very much to what you have learned about ASD. Warmest wishes.
Thank you some much for your warm welcome and kind words. I will definitely follow your advice. I don’t have a great work life balance which isn’t helping matters. I’m trying to address this but it’s challenging. I was off for 3 weeks in November because I had a complete melt down which has been put down to depression but I feel it stemmed from something else, and this came about from a social interaction that went wrong. I’ve tried to talk to people at work but I find it hard to explain how I feel.
Thank you you again for your response. It means a lot. I just feel lost and unable to cope but speaking to people on here is helping.