Am I wrong in feeling offended that a task I've been performing for over a year has now been assigned to someone else, with someone other than myself supervising them?
Said supervisor hasn't consulted me and has disregarded my documentation / process.
Feels like a massive FU to me.
My work colleague tells me not to take it personally.
I'm growing tired of people spouting things like...
"Don't take it personally", "You're not the only one this affects", "I don't understand your problem", etc.
Management at work do my head in.
Can I start by saying there is no right or wrong with feelings. It is ok to feel angry, sad, jealous, offended. What ever the emotion is. Emotions are perfectly natural and we can't really control how we feel. The part that matters is what we do with those emotions and how we behave when we feel them. For example it would be wrong if you went to this other person and started shouting at them because they were working on your task.
I personally do struggle with these things a little and I do worry that I've done something wrong in order for it to be changed. There could be many, many reasons for this change though.
The way I see it is you've got a couple of options. You can accept it, try to get past feeling offended and move on. Or you can ask management why.
Nah I didn't start having a tantrum and being rude to people.
I just felt upset and offended given that I'd been doing it for over a year and everyone seemed happy with my work.
I discussed it via IM with a couple of colleagues whose response was to not take it personally - this is something I struggle with massively.
It's a trait I have in common with my mother, who I suspect is also on the spectrum, amongst other things.
It's called self obsession and when you accept that, you will no longer struggle with it and instead you will learn to make the best of it, the above article probably explains it better than me and it would be worth your time to read it because it seems that nobody has explained what autism is, to you and if you don't identify, then you know that you're either not on the spectrum or you are on the mild end of the spectrum, so to speak, where people generally get looked over for a diagnosis.
I'm not sure why you have written these comments here BlueRay. It's not really relevant to what SciFiGreg and I were saying. Taking things personally is human nature and I know just as many NT people that get upset by situations like this as autistic. Yes sometimes we just need to accept situations but this can take time.
I think maybe you need to take a look at whether your comments are helpful right now. You've posted this quite a few times throughout this thread and you have been asked to stop. Yes it is your choice not to stop but what is your aim? You often talk about wanting to spread joy but right now you seem to just be making someone feel bad about themselves. I know this isn't your intention. Are you just trying to prove your right? You are telling this person they need to accept and move on. Perhaps you also need to move on from this point you are making.
I think perhaps the way you are wording your point isn't helping. Self obsessed and selfish are quite strong words with negative connotations. People with autism are typically self orientated yes but that doesn't necessarily mean self obsessed. Self obsessed tends to suggest that you never think of others and you only care about yourself which just isn't the case. There is a lot more to autism than just being preoccupied with yourself.
Taking things personally is part of the AUTISTIC nature and not human nature, or more precisely nt nature, otherwise why didn't all of his colleagues take it personally as well?
They had the exact same changes happen to them but not one of them took it personally, because they're NOT autistic, they are NOT self obsessed - if they were, they would have taken it personally, but they're not and that's why they never.
It is totally relevant to what you were both talking about. Taking things personally is an autistic trait, read the paper that I posted, it states it clearly, how do you not know this?
It doesn't make us bad people but it does mean we encounter difficulties at work, with friends, relatives even, etc because we take things personally. If he feels bad about being autistic then I'm sorry, but there is very little I can do about that apart from what I am doing, trying to help him see that its not HIM that's taken things personally, it's his autistic brain, that's how it thinks, that's how it works, that's how we can be distinguished from people who aren't on the spectrum and if he could see that, he could free himself of the misery of always taking things personally.
It might be part of autism nature but it is NOT part of human nature in terms of non autistic people, and other people might get upset for similar situations but you can be sure that nt people will get upset for different reasons to what autistic people do otherwise they wouldn't be nt and we wouldn't be autistic.
Why do we have to accept situations? What on earth has that got to do with this whole post?
Oh my god, are you really saying that just because people don't like what I say I should shut up? Unbelievable! Why not stop taking what I say personally and just ignore it if you don't like it?
What is my aim? Isn't that obvious? You clearly have no idea who I am because my aim, is always to help others, I have no other aims in life and if he or anybody else disagrees with me or whatever, what's wrong with just ignoring? An nt person wouldn't be that controlling, they would just ignore it because they wouldn't take it personally. I'm trying to help him break out of that destructive thought pattern of taking things personally.
I am not telling anybody anything - seriously, you people, where are you getting all this information from. If you read the comments, you'll notice it's the other way round, you lot are all telling me what to do, I haven't told anybody what to do.
It is literally impossible for me to make somebody feel bad about themselves, totally impossible - how would I do that, crawl inside their heads and reprogram it to dislike itself? And even if I wanted to, how the hell can I tell someone what to do from my computer????????????? What makes you lot think you can honestly tell me what to do and what makes you all so sure I'll do it what you are all telling me what to do, just because you don't like what I say. I call that bullying. I haven't said anything about any one of you yet you're all telling me to shut up and go away.
If you read what I have said, I have already said there is no such thing as right or wrong so how could I be trying to prove I'm right? Right about what?
I haven't told him to accept anything I have never said move on so where have you got that from? You have made it up to bully me. Well done. You've succeeded.
If you or others have a negative connotation with the words self obsession and selfish, how the hell am I supposed to know that? How else can you explain autism? If you want to think being self obsessed means you never think of others then that's the way you choose to interpret it, how I would I know somebody would interpret it in such a way? Look it up. See what it means. There is nothing negative about either of those words and if you read the article that I posted, you would understand it even more, but I'm out of here. I'm fed up of all this bullying which of course you will all see as the other way around because I tried to help somebody see why they took something personally and how they can reduce the amount of times they do by understanding their nature.
Thanks for updating me on what autism is, what did you say it was, more that just being preoccupied with yourself. Thank you, I'm sure I'll get far in life with that golden information!
Goodbye. Sorry eli etc, I'll check in now and again for messages but I'm over this, getting told to shut up when I say something somebody doesn't like. Adios amigos
Piss off you inflammatory twat.
Sorry, I can’t help it, you make my day seriously though, I do actually know it’s only your autism that’s talking, and not you, so I don’t take offence, far from it, this thread has had me in stitches. But seriously, I really do wish you would read the article I linked or talk to somebody about how autism actually affects you because I promise you, you can rid yourself of that horrible obsessive thinking and taking things so personally. How do I know? - because with help, I am no longer stuck in that mind trap of spiralling destructive thinking, I’m still autistic, I still blurt things out and say them in my way, which upsets about 99% of the population, 99% of the time, so learning about autism doesn’t change who you are but it can help take away the horrible bits and some bits, well, we have to live with some bits but we can work on those as well with the right information/education and support. I don’t want anybody to be stuck in that horrible autistic obsessive compulsive black and white catastrophic thinking, but yeah, I do tend to say it as it is, or obviously, as I see it. Good luck, I feel quite sure there’s nothing at all wrong with your work.
Blueray - without doubt is the most aware autistic about autism I’ve ever known.
She has found herself - most humans never do.
If you wanna be happy - listen to her.
She has got pure soul and spirit bursting from her heart.
Whether or not she annoys you - that is Your problem not hers.
You’d do well not to gang up on a loving autistic being.