Am I wrong to feel offended by...

Am I wrong in feeling offended that a task I've been performing for over a year has now been assigned to someone else, with someone other than myself supervising them?

Said supervisor hasn't consulted me and has disregarded my documentation / process.

Feels like a massive FU to me.

My work colleague tells me not to take it personally.

I'm growing tired of people spouting things like...

"Don't take it personally", "You're not the only one this affects", "I don't understand your problem", etc.

Management at work do my head in.

Parents
  • Can I start by saying there is no right or wrong with feelings. It is ok to feel angry, sad, jealous, offended. What ever the emotion is. Emotions are perfectly natural and we can't really control how we feel. The part that matters is what we do with those emotions and how we behave when we feel them. For example it would be wrong if you went to this other person and started shouting at them because they were working on your task.

    I personally do struggle with these things a little and I do worry that I've done something wrong in order for it to be changed. There could be many, many reasons for this change though.

    The way I see it is you've got a couple of options. You can accept it, try to get past feeling offended and move on. Or you can ask management why.

  • Nah I didn't start having a tantrum and being rude to people.

    I just felt upset and offended given that I'd been doing it for over a year and everyone seemed happy with my work.

    I discussed it via IM with a couple of colleagues whose response was to not take it personally - this is something I struggle with massively.

    It's a trait I have in common with my mother, who I suspect is also on the spectrum, amongst other things.

  • Of course it's personal. They reassigned your project or overlooked you for promotion. You feel betrayed and disavowed by some secretive hidden process, because nobody involved and discussed it with you, contrary to the signals they send to you openly, that everything is fine. How do you know that colleagues tell you what they really think and don't fob you off with false reassurances?

    In some way you really need to understand what happened and what you can do to avoid it for the future. You can always discuss it with management as a learning opportunity, how you can learn from it and do better in the future. Nobody would  discipline you for wanting to improve.Wink

    You really don't need to blame yourself and your mother for being uncomfortable with what happened, because it is uncomfortable. 

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  • Of course it's personal. They reassigned your project or overlooked you for promotion. You feel betrayed and disavowed by some secretive hidden process, because nobody involved and discussed it with you, contrary to the signals they send to you openly, that everything is fine. How do you know that colleagues tell you what they really think and don't fob you off with false reassurances?

    In some way you really need to understand what happened and what you can do to avoid it for the future. You can always discuss it with management as a learning opportunity, how you can learn from it and do better in the future. Nobody would  discipline you for wanting to improve.Wink

    You really don't need to blame yourself and your mother for being uncomfortable with what happened, because it is uncomfortable. 

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