Published on 12, July, 2020
Am I wrong in feeling offended that a task I've been performing for over a year has now been assigned to someone else, with someone other than myself supervising them?
Said supervisor hasn't consulted me and has disregarded my documentation / process.
Feels like a massive FU to me.
My work colleague tells me not to take it personally.
I'm growing tired of people spouting things like...
"Don't take it personally", "You're not the only one this affects", "I don't understand your problem", etc.
Management at work do my head in.
If you want to feel offended, go ahead, there's no right or wrong to it.
I, personally, would instead ask, does it benefit me to be offended?
It is common for autistic people to take offence at things like this because we live in our own little worlds so we think the world evolves around us, therefore anything that happens around us, we think it is all about us and we therefore take it personally and feel offended. NT people are generally not as self obsessed as we are and therefore they are able to not take it personally and not be offended and they're able to see clearly that, even if they don't like the changes, they can see that they have absolutely nothing at all to do with them but in fact, something much bigger than them, like they have pointed out, you are not the only one that the changes effect.
So go ahead, if you want to take it personally, like you're the centre of the universe, by all means kick and scream like a two year old, who also thinks they're the centre of the universe and if it works for you, there's no right or wrong and no judgment. You don't need anybody's permission to be p****d off. And I'm sure you equally do the heads in of the management at your work, it's just how it goes, life is but a mirror. But yeah, get that anger out one way or another and if blaming someone else works for you and makes you happy, go for it. The others who you blame won't care, because they know it's not actually true and they'll just think you're acting like a two year old or something, unless they know you're autistic and then they can be much more open with you, maybe?
Anyway, no. it's not wrong to feel offended, that's your feeling, your choice and you can feel what you want.
NT people are generally not as self obsessed as we are and therefore they are able to not take it personally and not be offended and they're able to see clearly that, even if they don't like the changes, they can see that they have absolutely nothing at all to do with them but in fact, something much bigger than them
I call bullshit on that... in my opinion NT people are more self-obsessed, more likely to take things personally/be offended and less likely to see the 'bigger picture' they just lie and say stupid things like "Oh, I'm not taking it personally..." when secretly they're seething inside... they don't say/do anything 'cos that goes against the accepted norms.
Aspies are probably better at being rational about this stuff (except when the reasons given are clearly 'office politics BS').
I recently read NeuroTribes: The legacy of Autism and the future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman and I don't think being self-obsessed came up once in that whole book.
Nicely put. Sounds like me. The difficulty is finding a technique to move on and leave the past behind. Mindfulness, CBT, distraction, thought diversion
A bit harsh.
Your use of language and your implication that I'm having a tantrum like a 2 years offends me.
You don't know me, so I'll thank you not to generalise.