I am getting to a point where I feel, although I feel rather frightened of them, that I may have to start taking antidepressants. I was prescribed some last year and took one but it made me feel awful; I didn't sleep, felt unbearably anxious and felt really physically ill too. Doctors have since told me that just one tablet wouldn't make me feel like that but interestingly the psychiatrist I saw who suspected I may be Autistic didn't dispute the idea when I mentioned it to him.
I haven't been diagnosed yet, and of course many not be, but I just wanted to post asking about this issue as I'm sure I recall reading somewhere that people with ASD could be much more sensitive to antidepressants, and I'd also be interested to hear other people's experiences if anyone would like to share.
I have been very much in and out of depression, I do have times when I feel more positive, and I know to some extent my depression is sort of situational; I've been struggling with various aspects of life for several years now, and I'm not finding myself able to get anywhere with anything other than doing the same thing every day whilst feeling like I can't cope with life. I am seeing a therapist and have been making a huge effort to do all of the 'right' things; exercise, eating well, meditating, taking vitamin and mineral supplements etc, but everything just leaves me feeling absolutely distraught and desolate at the moment. I am weirdly hoping that I am depressed because that makes me feel a bit like I might be able to do something about it to feel more positive at some point, as otherwise I am scared that this is just how it is for me now and there's no way out.
Thank you for reading
Don't have time to post a long reply but don't be scared of anti-depressants. They gave me a much needed two year break from my struggling (of 10 years) and got me to a place where CBT was something I could work on better as well as all the other healthy habit development. Before that my anxiety was sky high and I just couldn't apply myself to creating better habits. The side effects do suck and you need to work with your doc to find the medication and dose that works for you, but they do work. They don't make everything go away, but they level things out a bit for most people. Don't do what I did and put them off for so long just cause you think you "should" be able to help yourself get better. Choosing to go on medication thoughtfully can be part of helping yourself. I am off them now and while I still have my struggles, the time I spent on them helped me get further than I would have without.
I have had depression on and off since being a teenager. I am now 46. I used to take anti-depressants for a year or two and feel better - then go off them and gradually slide down again. I have had a few courses of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (e.g. for social anxiety) and see a psychologist/therapist a few times too - all of which has helped me.
However, about five years ago I decided to just keep taking the anti-depressants permanently. My GP advised that this is best for someone like me as there is just a chemical imbalance in my brain. They enable me to function properly in life - they certainly don't solve all my problems but I do not get the very bad depression that I would have otherwise. I know that different tablets can affect everyone differently - but I wouldn't be afraid of anti-depressants. I think they are quite vital in some circumstances and in my case gave me my life back. I still have good and bad times - but I can manage my way through it.
It is clear that people on the Autistic Spectrum as more likely to suffer depression and Anxiety (Suffering with Neurotypicals who have no idea how to deal with us Neuro Diverse people). I have been more off than on Antidepressants for the past 20 years and found my GP helpful with the first prescribed tablets. I/You know your body and if the medication gives the wrong side effects then that needs reporting.
I take the case of some other medication, I was prescribed quite a number of years ago, that I started on one a day (should have increased to four) but three times I went to two a day and I was a wreck (what sleep, a zombie and my whole digestive system was messed up). Luckily now I am off it but there was nothing in the identified side-effects that mentioned my experience.
It took me over 10 years to get the courage to talk about anxiety to a GP. I was given anti depressants. These can take a long time to have an effect so I was very upset when I left as I felt I needed something instantly! I did take them but it only made me incredibly tired. I don't think it made much difference but I did only take them for 4 weeks. I've not been back since. I know that's not much help. I do feel like I've been through similar experiences to you though as I've always felt depressed just with moments of happiness. It's not a sadness, just a general feeling that everything is an effort. Getting up is an effort. Speaking to people is an effort. Thinking is an effort. Moving is an effort. And everything is pointless.
I think it might be helpful for the OP to know that it took me about 4 months to get over the initial side effects and feel balanced on an SSRI. Obviously, this isn't the case for everyone but from my understanding this is fairly common.
Thank you so much for your reply, helpful to read and that's good that ADs helped you. I feel like I may need to go down the antidepressant route as at the moment I can't seem to engage with therapy at all, and perhaps they would help.
Thank you so much Andrew, that's good that they helped you too. I think a large part of my depression is to do with frustration about not feeling like I've 'gotten anywhere' with things in life, and ironically now I'm feeling so low I'm certainly not getting anywhere at the moment, I can't even remember what I'm meant to be doing each day and get it done, so I think it may be time to give them a go.
Thank you so much, I think it sounds like I really just need to give something a go and stick with it for a bit then if it doesn't help possibly try others rather than giving up.
Thank you for your post, it's all helpful to know, I'm really sorry to hear you've been having a difficult time too. Mine started with great sadness but has now progressed to a more deep rooted feeling of not being able to do things and feeling like everything is pointless. I look back to when I was younger and see a time when I had a few hopes and dreams and that makes me feel worse as I feel like I am so far from that now. The only thing that makes me do anything at all (loads of housework today which I've not started yet) is the fear of feeling even more guilty and horrible about myself than I already do.
Thank you, I'll keep that in mind, I may just have to try to find a way to stick with them.