Published on 12, July, 2020
I have just got an invite for a catch up meeting at work. With the way things are I'm in full anxiety mode.
Everyone is talking about the bonus they're going to get, I'm not as I was underperforming last year. No one has taken in to consideration that last year i had seven months of weekly therapy in relation to childhood trauma and now having to deal with all of this.
At the moment I feel i just want to go sick again. But that will make things worse.
Meeting was hard, my boss didn’t understand how I’ve been masking my emotions and anxiety. It was about health issues and work. I’ve managed to get one thing in place and in writing. Extra breaks for when I get to stressed.
Just got home, had a mini meltdown.
At least it's over, Ed, and you've managed to get some concessions. That lack of understanding, though, is so common. They have this flawed assumption, I think, that because we're high-functioning, and our behaviour is close to that of non-autistic people, then somehow we're okay. They can't see what goes on - the act we have to put on. What other people can do without even having to think about it, we have to work at. They can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to live without those skills because they don't even realise they have them.
Have a rest tonight. Don't do anything. See how it goes from here.