Anger issues with autism

I think most people get angry at inanimate objects. I've yet to work with anybody that doesn't at times swear at their computer.

What causes an angry reaction from me is sudden noise. I find I'm reacting violently before my brain has even engaged, it's a purely primal response. When the brain catches up I regain control but I've punched a couple of cars for hitting their horns next to me because of this.

It's not nice, and I'd rather it didn't happen. Sadly it's not one of the things I'm getting better at as I get older :(

Have you tried noise cancelling headphones? They’re working amazingly well for me. I only got them the other day and already they’re making a great impact. It’s lile im living in another world. It’s as if the whole world slows down when I’ve got them on. 

So I’ve figured that something happens to my brain when I hear noise that somehow makes everything go faster. For example, when I have the headphones on, cars etc are not only quieter, but slower as well. 

It’s pretty amazing because I always felt the world went too fast for me, but now I have the headphones, it’s like it’s slowed down, to the degree that it’s no longer going too fast.

Even the little noises in the house, that nobody but me hears, go away and it makes such a huge difference that it shows me how much pressure I was under from the noise, when I didn’t have the headphones. 

It’s like I didn’t realise how much I was impacted by noise, until it went away. And the headphones add a layer of comfort to me physically, that I didn’t know I needed. And I discovered yesterday, at the fellowship meeting, that if I’m getting bored or whatever, I can listen to something through the headphones as well, to give me another level of serenity or something. For example, yesterday, I played a song that was in my head anyway, to see if it would act as a calmer. And it didn’t really, but I did go on to play sounds of water and nature, and that helped.

So I’m still experimenting but so far, they have been worth the money I spent on them. And I prefer them to medication. 

Which headphones did you get?

I had a look but they're not national unfortunately.  There's not much available where I am.

I looked at doing an OU course in psychology, but need to do a bit of saving first!  And have the free time around work etc.  

That's really good your support worker identifying your autism traits and helping you to use them to your advantage.  That's a really good idea doing the course while you're recovering from a burnout, but knowing how far you can push yourself and when to relax and rest.  It's giving you a well needed rest but also something positive to focus on :)  Sounds like it's going really well too which is brilliant.  I wish you the best of luck with it, and looking forward to hearing more about it!

I’m a bit tired so can’t think how you send messages but my settings are set to receive messages from anyone and you can make a friend request as well. 

Autism Plus are a national (I think) specialist support organisation, so I get one to one weekly support. It’s really good. 

Being a child psychologist sounds like a great idea and as autistic people, we are often very good at research. I’m also adhd, which I understand can also be a really good thing, so we can definitely use it to our advantage. I think you’d be great working in this area. Trauma can destroy a person’s life or it can be transformed into something amazing. You could totally do it. 

The course is going well. I’m on week 3 and it is 12 weeks long (I think). There’s plenty of info to take in etc but it’s not too much. I’ve got time to process it all as I go along. I’m playing with getting a balance between work/study and not working and so far it’s trial and error but it’s easier with the specialist support. For example, she was able to point out that what I’m dealing with is classic autism obsession and she is able to give me tips on how to manage this. I want to be able to do this before I actually start work, as a kind of insurance policy against burnout. So I’m taking my time with it, because this is something I want to get right. I’ve really benefited from this burnout but I don’t want another! 

I trust you will have a restful weekend. We tend to need lots of good quality rest, so I’m working on that too. I only got diagnosed 15 months ago so I’m not in any rush. I’m taking things at a slow pace but things are shaping up slowly. 

Have a lovely weekend :) 

I’m a bit tired so can’t think how you send messages but my settings are set to receive messages from anyone and you can make a friend request as well. 

Autism Plus are a national (I think) specialist support organisation, so I get one to one weekly support. It’s really good. 

Being a child psychologist sounds like a great idea and as autistic people, we are often very good at research. I’m also adhd, which I understand can also be a really good thing, so we can definitely use it to our advantage. I think you’d be great working in this area. Trauma can destroy a person’s life or it can be transformed into something amazing. You could totally do it. 

The course is going well. I’m on week 3 and it is 12 weeks long (I think). There’s plenty of info to take in etc but it’s not too much. I’ve got time to process it all as I go along. I’m playing with getting a balance between work/study and not working and so far it’s trial and error but it’s easier with the specialist support. For example, she was able to point out that what I’m dealing with is classic autism obsession and she is able to give me tips on how to manage this. I want to be able to do this before I actually start work, as a kind of insurance policy against burnout. So I’m taking my time with it, because this is something I want to get right. I’ve really benefited from this burnout but I don’t want another! 

I trust you will have a restful weekend. We tend to need lots of good quality rest, so I’m working on that too. I only got diagnosed 15 months ago so I’m not in any rush. I’m taking things at a slow pace but things are shaping up slowly. 

Have a lovely weekend :) 

I had a look but they're not national unfortunately.  There's not much available where I am.

I looked at doing an OU course in psychology, but need to do a bit of saving first!  And have the free time around work etc.  

That's really good your support worker identifying your autism traits and helping you to use them to your advantage.  That's a really good idea doing the course while you're recovering from a burnout, but knowing how far you can push yourself and when to relax and rest.  It's giving you a well needed rest but also something positive to focus on :)  Sounds like it's going really well too which is brilliant.  I wish you the best of luck with it, and looking forward to hearing more about it!