Saying things that nobody wants to say.

Hello, it has been 7 months since I have been on these forums due struggling with low mood and that sort of thing. Sadly its as if I've logged out and logged back in again. The same frustrations and misunderstandings that people are experiencing.

Most being bullied in school for being different, feeling unable to express who you really are for fear of it not being accepted, some people rejecting its a real thing, some people believing it can be cured. Am I referring to autism today or homophobia decades ago? How many of your favourite comedy shows have a "weird" peripheral character who pops up only occasionally to be pointed and laughed at their complete lack of self awareness and social norms. How many of these characters are likely to be on the spectrum? Its as casual in our society as the word "gay" meaning "bad" was not so long ago.

I'm sure a lot of you will relate to the idea of saying things that are not popular opinions or at least having to fight hard not to say them. Unfortunately I think the process by which we move towards better understanding and equality is not the ideal world situation we would like it to be, rather that a cause has to become fashionable.

It is trendy to be seen to be pro certain causes and while those causes are no more or less worthy, it doesn't help those that haven't had their time in the sun yet. It seems that these causes are the ones that are pursued the most perhaps due to their fashionable current stock, or perhaps because they are seen as easier because they are already further ahead in the process. It seems that ignoring the fact that a cause has to become trendy only makes the task harder than if we accept that fear of being seen to not be in line with current opinion is a more powerful driving force in people's behaviour than genuine compassion and wanting society to be the best it can be. If you want proof of that just look at how much we would look down on Russia due to them being behind on attitudes towards sexuality. We act appalled, as though we would never dream of such lack of acceptance when we are still seeing the back end of that culture in our country. Does anyone dispute this? And how do we make autism fashionable?

  • I’ve been to an autism friendly cafe in Australia, it was great. I’ll be opening one myself at some point but mine will be based on good coffee and super delicious raw whole food. 

  • Loads of people ignoring each other?

  • That's a bit of a cop out - bet they're telling women they're focused on disability Smiley Gays have places to hang out - which would be anathema for AS as they're generally noisy and flashing. Wonder what an AS cafe would look like?

  • Yes that sounds like absolutely the right thing to do. Coming together with other AS people was the main reason I originally joined this forum. I haven't had much luck with that. When I tried to raise concerns at my work (supposedly one of the leading organisations for equality) I was basically told that gender equality was what they were focused on at the moment (which is fairly equal in that organisation) and I raised concerns multiple times and absolutely zero was done about any of it.

  • I'm gay as well as AS and have lived through second wave feminism and backlash; gay rights and backlash, anti-racism and backlash. Disability seems to be getting a lot of notice now and this is a good thing, other socially marginalised groups did it by supporting each other to be visible and advocate for more rights and we need to find ways of developing the kinds of self-defined supportive community that we can cope with as AS people?

  • I agree, I have no interest in being fashionable, but I do have an interest in awareness, understanding and equality. I was just musing the idea that it has to be fashionable in order to achieve full acceptance and understanding these days. I.e. people feeling it will get them Instagram likes by being seen to be interested in it is more powerful now for the mainstream than the power of human kindness. Its a very cynical view I admit but I believe its true and I believe ignoring it would make it an even more uphill battle. Its ironic that we may have to become on trend for people to listen to us and our right to be different.

  • I think we generally have little interest in being fashionable. But you're right, we need to be out-and-proud just as the LGBT community does.