Published on 12, July, 2020
What Do I do For The Best here ?
As the Title says," It's OK mum, It doesn't bother me." This is what my son is now saying after years of relentless bullying..many many different example . He is now in his Final year of Primary school, and the School has done very little to nothing effective to stop the children from being nasty to my son. to make matters worse, I hear about various incidents from other parents... The mums and Dads of children who feel guilty about taking part in the mob mentality of well No one likes him... or Everyone does it....or if I don't join in I might be the next victim kid...Sometimes these *would be nice kids*, well they have to tell... the parent are shocked, call me, PM me or talk to me at school/ kids club etc.. Usually they start with the sentence.. Am very sorry but......I am heartbroken I can't stop this.... am angry the school don't even call me 90% of the time they know of things.. Most recent example..... graffiti in the toilets... **** is Gay....... The children involved got spoken to.... Was i Called by School??? NO !!Was the Parents Called by School ??? NO !!! this was just the final straw for one of the nice kids, who told his mum.... and told her how my son wasn't at school today... maybe because all his friends keep taking his hat and gloves from him, passing them to each other so he cant get them, then throwing them onto the ground..... or maybe its because his good/ best friends have been calling him names...or maybe its because everyone shuns him as they don't want to be associated with the kid who doesn't bother about being bullied anymore because at least he has friends who do play with him when they are not being nasty to him........ So I ask you all..... Where do you go with this ? For reasons of his own.. He just CAN'T speak up for himself.. and our school ??? What school wants to be known as the school with bullying issues ?? they hind, deny or turn a blind eye to keep it all hush hush and off their records.. my apologies for pouring out on here, but when your child is so defeated he says "it's OK Mum, it doesn't bother me" that hurts your heart ..... oh and No... He won't hear of changing schools, he likes his so called good school and friends, no matter how much i say to him.. My Big BIG fear would be if I did move him School, Would it happen there and would he have Zero friends? ? Would be be unhappy?? Hate me for moving him... He doesn't like change.... He is generally happy enough, given his social awareness skills are so poor, he seems to be a tough wee cookie. resilient beyond anything I or anyone i know could ever put up with... He shouldn't have too... I wish these school children weren't so cruel. So here I am... What do i do?
I'm not a parent but your son's experience sounds so like my own at school, although it really did bother me. I would have liked to think schools would have got better at dealing with this kind of stuff in the last 20 years. I'm sorry your son is having to go through it.
I was moved schools and it didn't help. I was bullied in the next school and that hurt all the more because I then knew it was me that was the problem not the school. Him being in his final year of primary I wouldn't recommend moving him as then he has to go through 2 big transitions with lots and lots of change and this could be really hard for him.
Have you spoken with the school over this issue. I would be calling a meeting with the school and telling them how you feel and telling them it needs dealing with. Don't be afraid to kick up a fuss. You can also speak to the local authority if you don't think the school are doing anything.
I really hope the situation improves for him.
Binary, i am sorry you have been through this too.. As a child/ adult experiencing this it must be extremely difficult.. I am struggling with being unable to protect my child, not knowing full extent of what's been going on as he is protecting the bullies too as he doesn't want to be friendless... oh it is heartbreaking and such a continuous worry. I hope this hasn't brought back too many bad memories for you.. i just need to talk with people who really do understand and not just people who pay lip service. I wish i had a magic wand. make it all better as i do have 4 very different amazing boys...two full grown successful adults and two little school guys... your dreams change from... I want my child to be the top brain surgeon in the world to... I just want my child to have a happy life with good friends.... Amazing how things like Bullying incidents with your ASD child are so so very different from bullying incident with neurotypical kids/adults ....without making less of either, its just so difficult to deal with.. get support at source with.... I hope your doing well now and life is good for you... I tell my son.. Never let anyone take his sparkle from him x