5 Days left to live. What would you do?

Go on the holiday of a lifetime. Why worry about anything serious if I only have 5 days left? May as well enjoy them as much as I can.

Hope all is ok? Huge risk doesn't sound good!

Why worry about anything serious anyway? What exactly does worry add to the situation? Just curious  ~ does it help in a way that if you didn't worry the solutions would never be found? It's just that for me, I found that if I worried about a situation, it didn't change anything and I couldn't find a solution because my head was too full of worries. So I gave it up and don't bother with it anymore. 

And why not enjoy every day you have on this planet as we never know which one will be our last? 

I find it curious that people would enjoy five days but not the whole of their lives! 

I guess some of us have much more to worry about in our lives than others, BlueRay.  Just thinking 'Oh, I'll choose not to worry about anything any more' doesn't always cut it.

Meantime, I'm worried about Ellie.  Or maybe I should say actively concerned.

Worrying is emotional wind up before hopeful decompression. It’s riding an S curve or running a roller coaster, it’s whit knuckling... it fogs the head... but forces us sometimes necessarily to pause

Been a positive day today... the wave was kind... yesterday the cuurent got me.

everything has its biorhythms... this is just an unfamiliar and scary at times tune.

If I was in your shoes right now ~ which I never would be because I could never fill those elephant boots ~ I'd be a mess ~ you're doing amazingly well and how you keep your head as clear as you do I will never know, you're amazing and it would be more than acceptable for you to panic a bit now and again.

Funnily enough (I don't know why I use that phrase because it's not really funny at all') ~ I had a dream/nightmare about the ex narc last night! I tried to go back into it (the dream) and change the outcome which I think I did, but I think it's more to do with me thinking about you. I know I tend to look more to the future and all the positives etc but I still remember what it was like when I was going through it and I don't want anybody to go through that, especially not our Ellie and in many ways I wish I was in a stronger position to be able to do more but not because you can't handle it, because I know you can, you're strong, but just to give the equivalent of a friendly hug and a bit of friendly support X

I'm thinking of scrapping the idea of getting my car back on the road because I don't want to stop walking everywhere so instead I'm considering hiring a car when I need one which I reckon will work out cheaper than paying tax n test etc for the whole year. It won't be long before I can make my way up the country and give you an aspie hug - or we could end up like this - 

If I was in your shoes right now ~ which I never would be because I could never fill those elephant boots ~ I'd be a mess ~ you're doing amazingly well and how you keep your head as clear as you do I will never know, you're amazing and it would be more than acceptable for you to panic a bit now and again.

Funnily enough (I don't know why I use that phrase because it's not really funny at all') ~ I had a dream/nightmare about the ex narc last night! I tried to go back into it (the dream) and change the outcome which I think I did, but I think it's more to do with me thinking about you. I know I tend to look more to the future and all the positives etc but I still remember what it was like when I was going through it and I don't want anybody to go through that, especially not our Ellie and in many ways I wish I was in a stronger position to be able to do more but not because you can't handle it, because I know you can, you're strong, but just to give the equivalent of a friendly hug and a bit of friendly support X

I'm thinking of scrapping the idea of getting my car back on the road because I don't want to stop walking everywhere so instead I'm considering hiring a car when I need one which I reckon will work out cheaper than paying tax n test etc for the whole year. It won't be long before I can make my way up the country and give you an aspie hug - or we could end up like this -