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Confused

xiv
over 5 years ago

Wasn’t sure if to write here or not but I am hoping for some advice.

Whilst I was going through the diagnosis process i kept coming on here and have read over and over again how getting diagnosed has helped in some way and how others were worried they wouldn’t get diagnosed due to NHS not diagnosing in the area. I guess I am one of the lucky ones as I was diagnosed very quickly and this is why I feel so bad.

There seems to be so many people looking for a diagnosis and I have one and don’t serm to be happy. I have been trying to look at the positives but I feel very negative about the diagnosis and am struggling to cope. I am wanting to know if anybody else’s does or has felt the same.

i am sorry if my complaining is frustrating for those who are wanting a diagnosis I do realise I have been lucky 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Hi xiv... I just signed up to reply to your post. 

    I was diagnosed just over 6 months ago, mid forties. 

    I feel exactly the same. I have been through some serious times - like nursing my father and mother during their last few days at home, to their early deaths. Thats one of the hardest things you can do in life but would you believe - being told  "You're autistic" was the hardest thing I have ever been through - still is. 

    At least two old friends from 30 years ago have attacked me emotionally and verbally. Nice :( One was a couple of weeks ago just before christmas. 

    The problem is, and has been since I was a child - I can see the universal engine room, the inner workings of the universe. Just like many historic famous scientists have and do see. Indeed - I now realsie that a huge amount of us do see whats really happening here. Like REALLY happening, where, why and how. 

    So - I cant talk with anyone. I just see these normal people with zero understanding of anything at all. BUT the catch is - they all think I am insane. 

    I woud never be normal if I had the option. Why would I shrink my brain to the size of an gnat's just so I can fit in with nonsense social rank...? 

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    Hi xiv... I just signed up to reply to your post. 

    I was diagnosed just over 6 months ago, mid forties. 

    I feel exactly the same. I have been through some serious times - like nursing my father and mother during their last few days at home, to their early deaths. Thats one of the hardest things you can do in life but would you believe - being told  "You're autistic" was the hardest thing I have ever been through - still is. 

    At least two old friends from 30 years ago have attacked me emotionally and verbally. Nice :( One was a couple of weeks ago just before christmas. 

    The problem is, and has been since I was a child - I can see the universal engine room, the inner workings of the universe. Just like many historic famous scientists have and do see. Indeed - I now realsie that a huge amount of us do see whats really happening here. Like REALLY happening, where, why and how. 

    So - I cant talk with anyone. I just see these normal people with zero understanding of anything at all. BUT the catch is - they all think I am insane. 

    I woud never be normal if I had the option. Why would I shrink my brain to the size of an gnat's just so I can fit in with nonsense social rank...? 

Children
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