Published on 12, July, 2020
Writer and journalist Caitlin Moran, I think it was recently asked in Twitter what were the downsides to being a man?
The responses were overwhelming and she set up a Facebook group called The Society of Decent Fellows.
I don’t do Facebook. So I thought it would be helpful for us on the spectrum to discuss this also.
For me it’s the expectation to be all assertive, confident and have the body beautiful. That’s not really me. I would like to have a relationship but I can’t tell if someone is “in to me” and I wouldn’t have a clue how to be in a relationship any way.
So over to you guys.
What about toxic femininity? Eye searingly bright pink colours, vast amounts of make-up - "insta-face", fashionable clothing that often seems verging on the socially unacceptable, hunting in loud uncouth packs, excluding and bullying people not in their in-crowd, flirting and sucking up to try and get what they want, relying on looks rather than ability, constantly flirting with perceived good looking/hunk members of the opposite sex, starts from an early age - but really kicks in around puberty, ...
Toxic femininity certainly exists too. Women do police other females' appearance, body shape, conduct and so on. It results in eating disorders, stress, anxiety and self-destructive behaviour.
Not to belittle that, toxic masculinity is a bigger problem still. It's largely responsible for the higher rates of suicide, homicide and other violent crime by men. And it affects the whole of society, as the macho men in power show their strength by being "tough" against disadvantaged groups, by starting wars and building walls.
Toxic: identifying so much with one tribe that you lose respect for others.
Humans generally have enough of a tendancy to do this that it requires conscious, considered effort to counter.