Published on 12, July, 2020
Good afternoon all.
I just wondered what positive steps people took after they were diagnosed as adults. I am still awaiting my (hopefully) final appointment next week and am going through a rollercoaster of emotions such as: it won't change who I am, it won't make a difference to those that know me, will I grieve for the situations I found troublesome growing up etc etc.
I guess I am asking:
Did diagnosis help?
Did things start to make sense?
Did you do things differently as you were more aware?
and what are people's experience with telling work colleagues? I am of the mind not to at the moment, as I don't necessarily need anything to change there.
Phil_J said:
Yes to all, Phil. Everything made sense, at last. Instead of hiding things now, I could be out in the open about it. I told everyone, and continue to do so. At work, I've also told everyone. I got my current job post-diagnosis, and brought it up at the interview stage. It was actually a positive for me - but my job is as a support worker with autistic people!
If you don't need anything to change at work and are quite happy, then fine. The only caveat I'd offer is that if you don't say anything, and then a problem comes up at some stage - or you might need to go sick with extreme anxiety or something - then you might be asked why you didn't say anything before. The other thing, of course, is that with a diagnosis, you can ask for any reasonable adjustments to be made to accommodate you - as they would be, say, for someone with a physical disability. It doesn't sound like that's a problem for you, though.
On your other worries...
It won't change the person you are, but it might change your attitude and perspective on a few things. It might make you feel more confident, for instance, if you've long been seeking solutions. It might increase and solidify your sense of self. Hopefully, it won't make a difference to those who know you - but some people may find it hard to accept, and might behave differently towards you. My brother, for instance, backed away further. Other people, though, are more curious. Everyone I know now knows I'm autistic. Generally, people are fine about it.
On your final point... as I have discovered, that is the other edge of the sword. Supposing I'd been diagnosed earlier, I often wonder. Would my life have turned out differently? Without autism, would I have gotten on better in the world? Would I have broken out of my comfort zone long before now? Would my marriage have survived? It's all 'what ifs' and speculation, though. I'll never know. So the only thing to do is move on with what I've got.
I hope things work out for you, and you get the answers you seek.
Tom