Are things JUST different?

No, I don’t think things are more difficult for an autistic person than they are for an nt person. And how could that even be quantified?

There are many aspects of myself, the autism, that give me a distinct benefit over nt people. It’s apples and oranges. It’s our attitude, our mindset and our response to life, ourselves and others, that makes the difference, not our physical or mental set up. 

A victim mindset will always think it’s life is harder than other people’s lives and will use this as a barrier to even trying, and a loving, accepting and understanding mindset, will always see life as equal, but different, and it will put its focus on, how can I do better, rather than dwell on all the ways in which the life can be seen as terrible and worse than everybody else’s. 

A victim mindset will always think it’s life is harder than other people’s lives

You don't need to have a victim mindset at all.  If you have difficulties with certain things that other people either find easy or do without having to think about them, then you have difficulties.  That isn't to say they can't be overcome, or even used to one's advantage in other ways. You would be able to quantify these difficulties better if you worked with autistic people and saw some of the struggles and challenges they have.  Even the higher-functioning ones.  Disability, or 'different ability' in our society is largely a social construct.  The disabled are expected to adapt to conditions, rather than society accommodating them more. 

I don't go around thinking to myself 'Oh, woe is me!  I have no idea why I can't seem to make friends or handle relationships.  I have no idea why I have anxiety attacks over seemingly trivial things.'  At the same time, I accept that I have difficulties in some areas of life.  Every autistic person has them, to a greater or lesser degree.

A victim mindset will always think it’s life is harder than other people’s lives

You don't need to have a victim mindset at all.  If you have difficulties with certain things that other people either find easy or do without having to think about them, then you have difficulties.  That isn't to say they can't be overcome, or even used to one's advantage in other ways. You would be able to quantify these difficulties better if you worked with autistic people and saw some of the struggles and challenges they have.  Even the higher-functioning ones.  Disability, or 'different ability' in our society is largely a social construct.  The disabled are expected to adapt to conditions, rather than society accommodating them more. 

I don't go around thinking to myself 'Oh, woe is me!  I have no idea why I can't seem to make friends or handle relationships.  I have no idea why I have anxiety attacks over seemingly trivial things.'  At the same time, I accept that I have difficulties in some areas of life.  Every autistic person has them, to a greater or lesser degree.

I’m not saying autistic people don’t have difficulties and that they can’t be quanitified but rather who is to say that their difficulties are ‘worse’ than somebody else’s difficulties?  How do you measure that?

For example, an autistic person could have a difficulty with switching between tasks which could have huge implications on their life in so many ways but an nt person could have a difficulty in their life which impacts their life in a huge way also, but how do you even begin to compare the two and why would you? It’s not a competition in who can have the most difficulties.

And two people can have the very same difficulties but because of a difference in mindset, they will experience them differently. For example, one man with no limbs might sit at home all day, barely leaving the house, just getting by  and accepting that life is simply pretty terrible when you have no limbs whereas another man, born exactly the same with no limbs, could have a completely different mindset and go on to win gold medals at the Paralympics and have a truly fabulous life and the only difference would be, the mindset. One had a victim mindset and the other a positive mindset that recognises that we all have difficulties but it’s how we respond to them, with our mindset, that makes the difference. With a victim mindset there’s very little chance that the situation will improve or change but with a positive, open mindset there is every chance that you will discover a way to make life great, despite the difficulties. 

Most people with a victim mindset are not even aware they have it. They rarely go around thinking that oh, life is so terrible for me etc etc and in fact, quite the opposite, they usually give little attention to their difficulties, they simply accept them and they seem to accept them more easily than most people as difficulties are a natural bed partner of a victim mindset so there is less resistance to accepting them.

The victim mindset is often, only noticeable, when you hear a person talking about how difficult life is for them (nothing wrong with this, this is healthy and the person needs to be heard), but they are suggesting that their difficulties are greater than other people’s, or they’re harder because of their circumstances  or that nobody understands them and people expect them to be able to do this, that or the other when they can’t! Generally, the person with the victim mindset is the last to find out they have it, it’s much easier for somebody on the outside looking in, to spot, as the clues are often in what they say. 

I didn’t say you have to have a victim mindset to acknowledge your difficulties or to have difficulties but that a person with a victim mindset will always think it’s life is harder than other people’s and will have a ton of proof that they can readily whip out to prove to you that their difficulties are indeed harder than other people’s. But in all honestly, can one person really say that their life is harder than somebody else’s? We all experience the world differently and what is hard to one person is easy to another.