Are things JUST different?

Hello All. 

I was told by my wife today that things are not more difficult for me they are just different... I think word “just” hurt a bit. I agree that “differences” it is better description than illness etc. But aren’t differences more challenging in mainstream society or NT family ? 

I’m curious what you think. Thanks. 

Parents
  • Hi Jan,

    I agree with you.  A person born with one arm is 'different', too. Is life equally not more difficult for them in your wife's view?  She might argue that a physical disability is another matter.  It isn't.

    Certain things are more difficult for us.  Difficulty with understanding body language and gestures, for instance.  Less than 10% of communication is verbal.  That puts us at a very big disadvantage compared to NTs.  Routines is another example.  For NTs, being asked to drop what they're doing and do something else straight away can often be a nuisance or an inconvenience.  With me, it would be very difficult and be a cause for a large degree of stress.  And because I don't look different from any other NT, it's expected that I shouldn't behave any different.  So if I say 'No, I'm sorry, I can't just stop doing this', I then get accused of being 'fussy', 'uncooperative' or 'inflexible.'  A colleague at work seemed to think that I was being selfish and unreasonable by not giving her a lift home from work one evening.  She lives less than a mile from work, but in a part of the city that takes me out of my way and makes me late getting home by about 15 minutes.  A minor inconvenience for most people.  I had to explain to her, though, that that 15 minutes makes a lot of difference to my evening routines.

    So... I'm on your side!

    All the best,

    Tom

  • PS I was intrigued by the title of this thread!  I was wondering what to expect!

    Auto-correct text is the culprit, I expect... Smile

  • ...To anyone NEW reading (after around 22 Hours (10pm))... I should say that the original Title of this Thread was (probably) misspelled, and was "thighs" instead of "things"...

    Thank You, Jan84, for correcting it. To myself that old title was really irritating. My own right thigh internally causes a lot of trouble for which my left thigh has to compensate. But I did not want to say that upon a public Forum, and so Thanks again for correcting the Title.

    ;-)

Reply
  • ...To anyone NEW reading (after around 22 Hours (10pm))... I should say that the original Title of this Thread was (probably) misspelled, and was "thighs" instead of "things"...

    Thank You, Jan84, for correcting it. To myself that old title was really irritating. My own right thigh internally causes a lot of trouble for which my left thigh has to compensate. But I did not want to say that upon a public Forum, and so Thanks again for correcting the Title.

    ;-)

Children