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Are things JUST different?

Jan84
over 5 years ago

Hello All. 

I was told by my wife today that things are not more difficult for me they are just different... I think word “just” hurt a bit. I agree that “differences” it is better description than illness etc. But aren’t differences more challenging in mainstream society or NT family ? 

I’m curious what you think. Thanks. 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Hi Jan,

    I agree with you.  A person born with one arm is 'different', too. Is life equally not more difficult for them in your wife's view?  She might argue that a physical disability is another matter.  It isn't.

    Certain things are more difficult for us.  Difficulty with understanding body language and gestures, for instance.  Less than 10% of communication is verbal.  That puts us at a very big disadvantage compared to NTs.  Routines is another example.  For NTs, being asked to drop what they're doing and do something else straight away can often be a nuisance or an inconvenience.  With me, it would be very difficult and be a cause for a large degree of stress.  And because I don't look different from any other NT, it's expected that I shouldn't behave any different.  So if I say 'No, I'm sorry, I can't just stop doing this', I then get accused of being 'fussy', 'uncooperative' or 'inflexible.'  A colleague at work seemed to think that I was being selfish and unreasonable by not giving her a lift home from work one evening.  She lives less than a mile from work, but in a part of the city that takes me out of my way and makes me late getting home by about 15 minutes.  A minor inconvenience for most people.  I had to explain to her, though, that that 15 minutes makes a lot of difference to my evening routines.

    So... I'm on your side!

    All the best,

    Tom

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    PS I was intrigued by the title of this thread!  I was wondering what to expect!

    Auto-correct text is the culprit, I expect... Smile

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    I like my left thigh, we get along and we have an understanding. My left thigh is ND.

    my right thigh I also like but don’t really get. My right thigh is NT. But I can either accept that my right thigh exists and try to get on with it or ask to have it amputated. 

    between my two thighs is a gap. This is called the “gulf of understanding”

    :)

Reply
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    I like my left thigh, we get along and we have an understanding. My left thigh is ND.

    my right thigh I also like but don’t really get. My right thigh is NT. But I can either accept that my right thigh exists and try to get on with it or ask to have it amputated. 

    between my two thighs is a gap. This is called the “gulf of understanding”

    :)

Children
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