Anyone else have tidying issues?

Hi, It might be executive functioning disorder often related to ASD. But it could be something else, I know that people with ADHD also may have such issues. Best would be consultation with a therapist. 

I have tried EVERYTHING with my daughter, but absolutely nothing works!  She will talk the talk, but when it comes down to it nothing happens.  Full of promises!  She even went to my sister and discussed her worry for me as I was very depressed and not coping with things indoors, even though I had explained what my problem was.  My sister told her as well and she said she was trying, but no change.  She talks about being minimalistic but that’s the complete opposite to her!  She buys and re buys, leaving packages/paper/rubbish etc all over the floor/ the bed/every surface is piled high!  I’m 74 and really struggling!  What can I do!  Im worried sick for her future!

The last couple of places I worked I was tidy because I would not have what I needed where I expected it to be. It was not because I was naturally tidy, but it was because I was efficient.  

At home I relax far too much, usually because I need to de-stress? I dont know. I am not ultra messy. Just organized clutter! 

Beds... Rarely do I make my bed in the morning when I get up because if I do I am out of routine. I have to get up, put some clothes on to be decent (Always have slept naked as clothes get tight on me and wake me up), go straight to the bathroom which can take ages as I lose track of time...,  But also because I need to wait for body to go, then I have breakfast, go to the loo again and then I am ready for the day!

Oddly driving relaxes me, and I am fortunate that I have a small economical car. But Mum pays for the diesel as most places we go are for her, and I pay for everything else. Car is 18 and a half years old. May give it a cake when it turns 19? :D

Hi

Sorry to hear about the burnout and hope your feeling better soon 

My timing issues are that I set myself unrealistic targets so I either fail or it drains me to complete. Both ways I feel like I lose. I try to leave just one bed unmade in the morning before school drop and work but I just can’t do it.

I panic basically while doing tasks as I’m over aware of time, it’s like every second counts. Then at work I can very often just sit there and lose an hour doing nothing. 

I’m generally messy at work but then can’t cope so ultimately I still end up being tidy. 

very confused 

I'm thoroughly untidy lol, not by choice, but it's in my nature according to my parents. My room is normally in a constant messy state, so I push everything under my bed  out of sight, out of mind! 

I think a lot of it comes down to processing. Tidying and cleaning is a lot all at once and it's exhausting which makes it extra difficult. If I try to do too much my brain nearly fries.

haha excellent post. I wanted to say does anyone want to transplant their fingers. I only take non-autistic fingers!

Too right I have problems with cleaning, tidying etc.

I have difficulties with initiating a task and breaking it down into small do-able actions. I don't get much satisfaction from ticking boxes, as each one moves me to another and they seem never ending.

I can no longer cook in the kitchen because of the mess, so eat everything cold.

A manager once said to me, "I don't know whether you work in organised chaos or you are chaotically organised" - ending up with my work was of high quality but she couldn't see how I managed it.

I am beginning to suspect I have ADD as well as ASD.

Plus anxiety and depression 

Me too, When I was young it was a huge problem and there was no one to teach me any coping mechanisms. I just let caos reign and, with a good memory, I knew where things were more or less. It still looked like a rat's nest. I still struggle with this. Oddly enough, after losing everything in a fire and now being in an evacuee in a hotel room, Ive had to find ways of managing it. I copy what the hotel room service does. that's worked out well.

I am aging into the group that can get house cleaning through health insurance so when I get a new place I will have that, I think.

I used to enjoy vacuuming, now I just can't be bothered, the dirt just comes back, it's entropy.

Balance... Balance... You mea you are messy in the workplace and tidy at home?  Embarissed to say I have not worked since the last burnout as it hit me hard. Am on the mend! :D

What are time managment issues? Losing sense of time? I can do that when on the internet. 

I have exactly the opposite, but guessing equally difficult. I am OCD which doesn’t affect everything but quite a lot of everyday things.

From the OCD I suffer from poor time management as there are all these jobs that need to be done before for example taking the kids to school. It causes me so much unnecessary stress and wish I could just leave them. 
It’s a shame we can’t swap 50% with each other, what a balance that would be! 

Hope you find your balance 

• Uhmm. I am ultra tidy in a workplace but naturally messy at home... Organized mess though! 

I can do it if it's something I can do then and there as I go, for example, cleaning plates immediately after I've eaten. But for things that have to build up like clothes washing etc. it just all ends up piling somewhere. Other things like dusting etc. that aren't immediately obvious also builds up. I guess that's the main problem for me is it being immediately obvious, kind of like 'out of sight out of mind' and by the time it's neglected enough to be in sight it becomes a big job that I think most people even NT would be a bit overwhelmed at doing.

It’s probably one of the reasons why many local councils don’t want people living alone in their properties autistic or not, whether or not a property is designed for single person occupation without some sort of “support” and also, why many people in general don’t want disabled and autistic people living alone without direct support, for example the priests or the nuns coming in or the families taking a direct involvement in care and support, such as a live in care worker, as many people believe that the only way to manage autism is by means of ultra strict discipline 24/7/365 and in every area like a USMC Drill Seargant boot camp 

I've at least made progress with hoovering - headphones and music! This works really well for me and sensory overload caused by the hoover is now a thing of the past.

Yep. Keeping things clean and tidy is difficult for me...

I try to keep things tidy, I'll usually be sorting my room, trying to keep everything organized and looking tidy. But I'm never satisfied so I'm constantly redoing it! Cleaning is the real challenge though, the house needs hoovering and dusting but I suffer from fatigue and this really takes it out of me. My mum is slowly going blind and I live with the laziest people in the world who still expect her to everything! So I'm trying to step up my game and help more but it is difficult. I'm learning new ways to battle my fatigue and anxiety.

I’m said that my place is alway messy.  I try to keep things c

Your son sounds like he is having trouble making sense of the mess and with task management. This is a problem that I suffer with so I am happy to give advice on what helps me.

You are right, its not that he is lazy, its that he is overwhelmed with the amount that has to be done and the not knowing where to start. 

Try starting out with small organized tasks and help him by writing down a list of short, to the point instructions that are easy to break down and follow. 

Example 

- take all dirty cups, plates and utensils to the kitchen

- put all dirty clothes in one pile and take to the laundry room

- put all rubbish in one pile and put it all in a black sack and then take the rubbish out.

etc

Tell him to only focus on one task at a time and if its too much he can have small breaks between each task. Walk him through it and calm him down if he gets overwhelmed. 

for keeping track of mess in future, tell him to try to keep all of the same types of mess in the same areas (so all rubbish together, all clothes together, all plates together etc) so that when it comes to tidying up, everything is more organized and it isn't as overwhelming to look at. Still write out a list of instructions each time tidying up is to be done. 

This helped me tremendously. I hope it helps him too. 

he is still 17 hopefully he will wise-up more when 18,19,20.

my 17 year old is the same (NT) except for the bedding

we decided at one point to let him sleep in his mess to see it that would help and that is exactly what he did ! he would sleep with plates in his bed ! totally amazing feat !  

I have actually googled and found this I'm exsreamly worried about my 17 yr old he can't stand anyone in his space so I respect that BUT have to clean his room as it's NOT just teenage dirt mess laziness etc it's much much worse !! But he just can't seem do it himself he does other things to help me not particularly lazy but his room got sooo bad it worries me as he says he wants move out in coouple yrs. He just can't seem or care about being a bit clean ! I don't expect polish and dusting just picking up rubbish every so often and taking out dirty plates on a regular basis or even Let Me doit  !! Bedding was so bad I had throw it away don't know what to do