Often when I speak to medical professionals about my views on death they are very surprised and exclaim ‘you are very black and white about that.’ I realise my views on the subject differ to that of many other people, and they have done since I was a young child. I don’t know if this is partly due to my autism, or just my own weird take on things, so I thought I’d ask on here what other people’s views on death/dying are. To give you a flavour of my views, here are some of my comments on the matter:
I think that we all die so we should get used to the idea sooner rather than later and that’s it’s not worth worrying about as it is inevitable. I wouldn’t care if I died tomorrow. Further, if I was to fall terminally ill I would refuse treatment as I believe in letting nature take it’s course - after all, natural selection has worked well for thousands of years, so why mess with it? If I died prematurely due to illness I would just see it that this was meant to be. This is why, despite being in my early 20s, I have already requested a do not resuscitate to be in place (also, I kind of view CPR as a form of physical assault - having seen it done to others, I certainly wouldn’t want it done to me!) and I said I wouldn’t want a blood transfusion when I had surgery. Don’t get me wrong, I am not one to refuse all medical input and I am very thankful for some of it, but I do draw a distinct line between what I consider acceptable and not.
My grandma is currently in a nursing home with dementia. She literally asked my mum and me to smother her, and she just wants to die because she is no longer able to live at home and do what she enjoyed. The home said she was depressed and tried to medicate her for it. They gave her a medication they new would increase her appetite as she was refusing food. I ended up arguing with them over it, explaining that my grandma wasn’t mentally ill - her thinking was perfectly logical and if I was in her position I would feel the same way. My grandma is very like me, and is very pragmatic about death also, and she hid the tablets rather than taking them, so that demonstrates what she thought about it! Maybe I was wrong to argue with the home, but I honestly couldn’t understand why they were trying to get her to feel different and eat more, as this would only prolong her suffering (aka life) and she just wanted to die! I think that keeping people alive at all cost is truly immoral and if they didn’t ask for it personally, it is selfish of those who did.
Disclaimer: I don’t mean to offend anyone with my views, and I certainly don’t expect others to comply with them. I respect everyone’s views and I know this is a difficult subject for some. I’m just wondering if anyone else thinks like me about death, or if I’m being obscure on my own here! Some may put it down to my current depression, but as mentioned I’ve thought like this from a very young age, so it appears intrinsic (maybe inherited from my grandma!).
My thoughts on dying and death ~ I don't have any.
How do l know it will even happen? It hasn't happened yet. And I have no need to think about it, other than the times, prompted by my sister and my friend, to think about funeral songs. I went along with it and chose some songs.
But my answer is I don't think about it because I have no need to think about it, so if I did think about it, I would be using the time I had now, thinking about something that might happen in the future, which could never happen because the future only exists in the mind, when I could be enjoying a rain drop or a sun beam.
I don't notice those things when I'm thinking, so I reserve my thinking time for things that are useful to me. And for me personally, it has no relevance to me in my life right here and now. My interests tend more towards life although I do have a thing about dead bodies. Whenever I work in a hospital, before I do anything, I check out the morgue and make my presence and my interest in dead bodies known, and they always accommodate my need to indulge in my curious interest in dead bodies. But I don't think about death or dying. I guess I just figure that living is more relevant to me right now.
Life is for the living of course it is. But i like spending my time thinking about all the eventualities and researching if science can provide any answers. This is not to the detriment of enjoying nature, the weather, family etc. Life is about curiosity
I think life is about learning as much as we can. I enjoy learning. Im not trying to seek out any truth by the way. Just to explore.
Yeah, like I said, there's billions of things we can think about or take an interest in and I love it that we don't all have the same interests as I love and enjoy hearing about other people's, especially those of autistic people. It fascinates me how utterly interesting most of us are. My new autistic friend is telling me more and more about his different interests, and not only do I get an enormous amount of pleasure from hearing about them, but it's like we're building a friendship through talking about them with each other. I'm beginning to understand what that means now, to build friendships.
Me too, I love and cherish my thinking time but I do try to make time for just being and for enjoying nature as well, although not so much of anything else for me just now, oh, and my autism group. That’s enough for me just now.
And I'm the same, forever the student. My dad said education is the only thing I stick to so, like you, I decided to make life an education, so I'd always be doing what I love :)
Well we are himan beings not doings. Thats why i love my cat. She is in the moment all the time. As far as i know, no concept of worrying about past or future.
Hsve you heard of futurelearn? Im sure there will be something on there to pique your interest. Mine of late had been autism in females but i think ive exhausted all resources (yes i do mean the whole interne!). Feeling out of sorts at the moment as i dont have anyting to sink my teeth into.
Ive been trying to shoe-horn astrophysics back into my life after doing a lot of research and some online cpurses a few years ago but so far its just not happening.
No, I haven’t heard of futurelearn, it sounds good though, but I definitely don’t need any distractions at the minute, as I’ve just set some goals. But thanks for letting me know. I probably will check it out at some point, no I know about it though.
I’ve set 5 goals for myself for this year. It’s something I’ve never done before. I’ll be getting some help from autism plus, as to how I go about achieving them. They’re all related to health and well being and interests. And my interest just now, is what will be my work, when I get back into that, so it feels doubly exciting. The human mind has been my one consistent special interest, throughout my life, and I’m now going over all my metaphysics training, and just getting stuck into that really.
It sounds like you got further than me with the female autism thing, although I did research a lot, over a lot of months, come to think of it! Lol!
I’ve found that when I try and find something to grab my interest, nothing really keeps my attention. So at those times, I’ve learned to just be, and just let something arise naturally. And it always does, at some point. And in the meantime, I enjoy doing other things such as walking. I always get inspired when I walk as well. It’s like movement gets the mind working and when I’m not looking for something, but instead just spending time in the moment. Something always comes, when it’s ready and in the meantime, I enjoy just being. Something that can be easy for me to forget about sometimes.
I seem to go back to Abraham Lincoln a lot and the founding fathers, as well as Henry Ford. I like researching inventors, it seems and prominent people from history! Lol!
Like you though, I just love devouring knowledge. I’m about to watch ‘what the bleep do we know’ on YouTube, again.
Well good for setting some goals.im sure itll be beneficial for your health. I like to try to set one for each year. Nothing too taxing. This year its to introduce a refrain from using "should have/would have/could have" as these phrases are not productive.
Yes i agree. Let interests find you instrad of seeking them out. Im a bit in limbo at the minute.
Excellent goal. I gave those words up a while ago. It took practice, but I promise you, all the time, energy and practice you put in, will be well worth it because as you realised, they zap our power, or rather, we give it away through those words.
Try not to think of yourself in limbo, as that will actually block anything coming to you and it prevents you from enjoying the moment now, as the mind is thinking it’s in limbo. Instead, you could just think, I’m simply going to enjoy some time in the moment, and I’ll be ready for a new interest when it comes, but in the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy my time, just being, in the moment.