Thoughts on dying/death

Often when I speak to medical professionals about my views on death they are very surprised  and exclaim ‘you are very black and white about that.’ I realise my views on the subject  differ to that of many other people, and they have done since I was a young child. I don’t know if this is partly due to my autism, or just my own weird take on things, so I thought I’d ask on here what other people’s views on death/dying are. To give you a flavour of my views, here are some of my comments on the matter:

I think that we all die so we should get used to the idea sooner rather than later and that’s it’s not worth worrying about as it is inevitable. I wouldn’t care if I died tomorrow. Further, if I was to fall terminally ill I would refuse treatment as I believe in letting nature take it’s course - after all, natural selection has worked well for thousands of years, so why mess with it? If I died prematurely due to illness I would just see it that this was meant to be. This is why, despite being in my early 20s, I have already requested a do not resuscitate to be in place (also, I kind of view CPR as a form of physical assault - having seen it done to others, I certainly wouldn’t want it done to me!) and I said I wouldn’t want a blood transfusion when I had surgery. Don’t get me wrong, I am not one to refuse all medical input and I am very thankful for some of it, but I do draw a distinct line between what I consider acceptable and not.

My grandma is currently in a nursing home with dementia. She literally asked my mum and me to smother her, and she just wants to die because she is no longer able to live at home and do what she enjoyed. The home said she was depressed and tried to medicate her for it. They gave her a medication they new would increase her appetite as she was refusing food. I ended up arguing with them over it, explaining that my grandma wasn’t mentally ill - her thinking was perfectly logical and if I was in her position I would feel the same way. My grandma is very like me, and is very pragmatic about death also, and she hid the tablets rather than taking them, so that demonstrates what she thought about it! Maybe I was wrong to argue with the home, but I honestly couldn’t understand why they were trying to get her to feel different and eat more, as this would only prolong her suffering (aka life) and she just wanted to die! I think that keeping people alive at all cost is truly immoral and if they didn’t ask for it personally, it is selfish of those who did.

Disclaimer: I don’t mean to offend anyone with my views, and I certainly don’t expect others to comply with them. I respect everyone’s views and I know this is a difficult subject for some. I’m just wondering if anyone else thinks like me about death, or if I’m being obscure on my own here! Some may put it down to my current depression, but as mentioned I’ve thought like this from a very young age, so it appears intrinsic (maybe inherited from my grandma!).

Parents
  • My thoughts on dying and death ~ I don't have any.

    How do l know it will even happen? It hasn't happened yet. And I have no need to think about it, other than the times, prompted by my sister and my friend, to think about funeral songs. I went along with it and chose some songs. 

    But my answer is I don't think about it because I have no need to think about it, so if I did think about it, I would be using the time I had now, thinking about something that might happen in the future, which could never happen because the future only exists in the mind, when I could be enjoying a rain drop or a sun beam.

    I don't notice those things when I'm thinking, so I reserve my thinking time for things that are useful to me. And for me personally, it has no relevance to me in my life right here and now. My interests tend more towards life although I do have a thing about dead bodies. Whenever I work in a hospital, before I do anything, I check out the morgue and make my presence and my interest in dead bodies known, and they always accommodate my need to indulge in my curious interest in dead bodies. But I don't think about death or dying. I guess I just figure that living is more relevant to me right now. 

Reply
  • My thoughts on dying and death ~ I don't have any.

    How do l know it will even happen? It hasn't happened yet. And I have no need to think about it, other than the times, prompted by my sister and my friend, to think about funeral songs. I went along with it and chose some songs. 

    But my answer is I don't think about it because I have no need to think about it, so if I did think about it, I would be using the time I had now, thinking about something that might happen in the future, which could never happen because the future only exists in the mind, when I could be enjoying a rain drop or a sun beam.

    I don't notice those things when I'm thinking, so I reserve my thinking time for things that are useful to me. And for me personally, it has no relevance to me in my life right here and now. My interests tend more towards life although I do have a thing about dead bodies. Whenever I work in a hospital, before I do anything, I check out the morgue and make my presence and my interest in dead bodies known, and they always accommodate my need to indulge in my curious interest in dead bodies. But I don't think about death or dying. I guess I just figure that living is more relevant to me right now. 

Children
  • Life is for the living of course it is. But i like spending my time thinking about all the eventualities and researching if science can provide any answers. This is not to the detriment of enjoying nature, the weather, family etc. Life is about curiosity

    I think life is about learning as much as we can. I enjoy learning. Im not trying to seek out any truth by the way. Just to explore.