Undateables!

On more 4 now, has two people with autism.

not sure if it can be watched on catchup or similar?

no idea if it is a representation of real life or just sensationalised? I have watched a few before and it can unite individuals that go in to share their lives together.

x()x

12/04/2018,

time now 22:54.

  • my thoughts exactly

  • Don't worry California, there will be someone out there who is a very good match for you.

  • Yes, I love that bit of it. It really highlights the questions we need answering in order to "do it correctly" that no-one else understands are even questions.

    There was the guy who took the list of questions to ask his date that his mum had written and laminated for him, and he had them sat on the table whilst they were waiting for their starter and he was just reading off the list. And you laugh, because it's so incongruous to "normality", and it's endearing because he's really trying, and then you have a think about why his mum did that for him, and what the point of asking these questions actually is. And it's not because he's actually interested in where she went on her last holiday, it's because, in asking these questions, there's some weird hidden mechanism by which she will feel closer to him. But, I don't think his mum thought to tell him that's what it's for, because he just asked the question and didn't respond with a follow-up based on her answer...and would it have made a difference anyway? Because we don't understand this hidden mechanism, we have no clue as to how it happens, or when it happens, or if it's already happened. "I asked you about your holiday and your favourite film and if you like music. Do you feel a connection with me yet?". And the follow-up questions are so hard because we don't know the script. You've been to Malta but I haven't so I don't know what's there so I can't ask you any more things about it. Next question. It's sad, and funny, and relate-able.

  • Also, the look on the old ladies' faces when someone on a date who has Tourettes shouts a really bad swearword whilst they're trying to enjoy their cream teas on the seafront.

    Lol! 

    I agree.... and the programmme also highlights societal “rules” about what dating should look like and how difficult these can be to negotiate... I.e, what do I wear? Do I get flowers? Is it ok to hold hands? Do I shake hands/a hug or a kiss on the cheek as a greeting?

    :)

  • I give you a +1 for this. You've described it perfectly Slight smile

    Once you start watching, you realise the point they're kind of making is that these people aren't undateable...it's just society's face-value judgement of them. When you get to know them, they're awesome people who want to bring sunshine into someone else's life.

  • I'm not sure how many series of this show they've made so far, but they always feature people with autism.

    It's quite a light-hearted show - it highlights the difficulties people with different conditions have when they are trying to find love, and for some of them the condition is directly related to this (such as autism). It's Channel 4, which means it's a commentary on disability and society's tolerance and perception of this, but it also shows how people can still want and find love no matter how 'different' they are.

    Also, the look on the old ladies' faces when someone on a date who has Tourettes shouts a really bad swearword whilst they're trying to enjoy their cream teas on the seafront.

  • You do wonder why Channel 4 didn't go the whole hog and just use the title "You're weird and no one wants to have sex with you"..”

    and

    Overall, however, it's not the differences but the similarities you're left with: human beings who want companionship and physical affection. Sometimes funny, sometimes aching, it doesn't once say disability and dating don't quite fit.

    With The Undateables, Channel 4 has a gem of a programme – but once the branding has done its best to misrepresent. And that despite the first rule of dating: a good first impression always counts.”

    From a 2012 newspaper review:

    www.theguardian.com/.../undateables-channel-4-disability-rights-wrongs

  • The idea of “sameness” is somewhat a misnomer.. I’d like to think is it a complimentary process.. your strength might be my weakness... two puzzle pieces that fit together are not the same design...

    it isn’t always what appears to be a matched couple, as in not both being the same.
  • It ended at least with two people who seemed to have found someone who understood them in a way another who wasn’t autistic couldn’t.

    undateables is a bad name,maybe it should be called undateables?, with the emphasis on the question mark.

    but I think it gives hope to many who are looking for that unique individual who will accept them for who they are not what they should be or have been.

    it actuallly proves that there is always someone out there to connect with, just takes time and sadly chance or maybe luck?

    it isn’t always what appears to be a matched couple, as in not both being the same. I have seen couples who just want honesty and to be cared for for who they are, not looks or ability. Just real people.

    take care all.

  • Yes, I agree.  It sounds like it's scraping the bottom of the barrel to draw in viewers.  And it is manipulated.

    A few years ago, my nephew's wife - 16 years older than he is - won a £50,000 make-over on a Channel 4 show about cosmetic surgery.  It included liposuction, a face-lift, teeth whitening, crash dieting, etc.  They did a 'before' and 'after' programme to show how it 'worked'.  But in the 'before' programme, they made him look younger (hair tinting, make-up) and her look older. In the 'after' programme, they did the reverse on him, and changed her hairstyle and clothes to enhance her restored 'youth'.  Now... she still looks much older than he is, and it's emphasised because her 'corrections' look artificial, and she hasn't maintained the diet.

  • Conversely... it demonstrates that fundamental desire to care, be cared for, and to connect with others...

  • As a programme, I hope it helps raise awareness of the diversity of people... but I hate the term “undateable”.... 

    ....trying to think now of an alternative name..

    is it quite a patronising programme...are we just meant to think... ooo bless them? 

  • Hate to say but these programs are manipulated. 

    It starts with a “casting agent.” Who will look for someone to fit the brief. To the director and editor looking for particular shots and a particular narrative. 

    Shame really. 

  • Dating is one thing.  Sharing your life with someone else... that's a whole different ball-game! 

    I don't do either any more.  Given up on it!