I feel silly wanting to be assessed for autism

Hi,

I recently started studying counselling in an attempt to try and be a better person, someone who makes other people feel good and correct whatever it is about me that seems to make me so... I don’t know... undesirable as a companion.

As part of the process you are supposed to contemplate the events in your life that have made you the way you are and in spite of the traumas I’ve experienced I kept coming back to the realisation that I was always like that.

I used to embrace being alienated from everyone and was a bit of a ruthless know it all and now as an adult, a wife and a mother I’m different. I’m always trying my best to be welcoming, sociable and supportive but people still treat me the same. I somehow always get people’s backs up.

I recently heard a women on the radio talking about having autism and I was surprised how “normal” she sounded and the symptoms of her autism didn’t seem odd to me at all.

I’ve done online tests which all come back as having some degree of autism. My husband thought it was ridiculous for me to think I was autistic (me too actually!) but when I read out a list of traits of high functioning autism even he had to admit out of about 25 I clearly had 23 of them. The severe aspects of my personality that he doesn’t understand.

I have booked myself in to see the GP but I’m feeling silly. I’m worried they’ll think I’m just looking for an excuse for not being a nice person. I’m scared they’ll refuse to assess me. I’m also a bit scared of not being autistic after having made a fuss.

I guess I’m hoping that someone else felt the same when faced with the prospect of finding out if they were autistic? What did the GP say?

Parents
  • What did the GP say?

    Hi, you may feel even more silly after your GP appointment.

    I had mine on Friday and was offered antidepressants 3 times.

    I took my notes and research so far, I told about my challenges and anxieties. But I’m too successful in life (Family, business and house)

    I felt like I would have to tell some really ***ty stuff about myself but probably he wouldn’t listen anyway.

    I took antidepressants only once and started to grind my teeth even more than usual so stopped taking them.

  • So basically that GP's message is: we have to wait until you fall apart until we take any action? It does sort of fit with message though I heard from a therapist: that als long as you can "function" in society these things are regarded personality traits and differences and when it stops you functioning and being productive, gives you health issues etc then it is regarded as a disability. The huge issue is here that many people with ASD1 do struggle along and try and fit in and put a huge amount of effort into blending in  (possibly collect diagnoses of ADHD, depression, anxiety etc etc along the way) and never quite get to deal with the root cause - until they possibly land in a massive burnout, when one little thing in their lives come undone...  it must be frustrating. (I might be projecting here - I was one of those people who soldiered on and kept struggling and then crashed).

  • Yeah, me too. I think that until enough of us have crashed and we have contributed to the general understanding etc, of how autism presents in adulthood, we are left to crash and burn. But it can be a positive and we can use it to help others before they get to the stage of a crash landing. 

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  • Yeah, me too. I think that until enough of us have crashed and we have contributed to the general understanding etc, of how autism presents in adulthood, we are left to crash and burn. But it can be a positive and we can use it to help others before they get to the stage of a crash landing. 

Children
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