This is a root and branch (pardon the pun), fresh-start, clean slate thread...and continuation of the Are there any women here? post
I'm still here in the long grass and I hope the discussions will continue as it's still reassuring to read other people talk about life in a way I understand. I do hope also that men like Lonewarrior and others who identify with a more female iteration of autism feel free to comment too, not all men are the stereotype either.
Does anyone else feel completely trapped in their lives, or are you in stable, even happy relationships and jobs that have survived the revelation of being autistic? For the most part I'm behaving exactly as I always have because I see no alternative for survival, but some days I feel sure I'm just shy of breaking completely. ()
Rather than feeling trapped in my life, I just feel a bit stuck at the moment. Not just since my diagnosis though, that only happened at the start of January, but for the past three years really. My HFA diagnosis seems to mostly explain why I've been feeling so stuck for so long but it's not really helped with any inspiration or motivation (or whatever it is I need) to become unstuck.
I'm in a stable relationship (about 17-ish years now) and the children are grown / growing up so they're not 'full-time' anymore. I just always imagined that by this stage I'd, well ... 'know what I want to be when I grow up' by now, and I don't. I've spent the past 7 months or so attending to my health and getting to the bottom of a lot of things (hence the autism diagnosis) and that's all good, going well and all that ... but I'm just bored bored bored now.
I don't really understand what, if anything, I'm supposed to be doing with this diagnosis? I'm learning more and more about it every day, it does explain a lot and makes me feel a lot better about a lot of things, but what are we actually supposed to DO with this new knowledge? Ach, sorry. I'm probably just having a blue day today.
Endymion said:I don't really understand what, if anything, I'm supposed to be doing with this diagnosis?
Greetings, and I Post in this Thread largely due to confidence through having posted in the previous one...
A Formal Diagnosis is most useful with regards to dealing with the LAW. You may gain access to extra support and services and whatnot. A Formal Diagnosis does *not* have to be declared all of the time. And a Formal Diagnosis is also not an easy thing to obtain, and so Please consider it a very good and useful thing... you can choose to use it or not.
End of Post.
Thanks DC, I do indeed realise how lucky I am to have gotten my diagnosis exceptionally quickly and I am glad it is what it is - I feel better now knowing that I have autism than I did before my diagnosis when I just felt, sort of, broken. Having the diagnosis IS a good thing and has / will allow me to understand myself a lot more.
It's just that, other than for the purposes of introspection / personal growth and all of these types of things (which are valuable in their own right) the diagnosis doesn't help at all in addressing more practical issues. For me anyway. I don't need PIP or services or legal help or any of the other more practical applications of a diagnosis that I've heard about.
I don't actually know what I DO need to be honest. Just feeling a bit lost at the moment. Maybe it's normal, a coming-down-off-the-high of finally getting the diagnosis. Actually, since then all I've done is to read and learn about autism and reflect upon myself and my life - maybe I'm just bored of ME! Too much self-analysis perhaps.
Endymion said:I don't actually know what I DO need to be honest. Just feeling a bit lost at the moment. Maybe it's normal, a coming-down-off-the-high of finally getting the diagnosis. Actually, since then all I've done is to read and learn about autism and reflect upon myself and my life - maybe I'm just bored of ME! Too much self-analysis perhaps.
This is all quite alright and "normal". All of it. You do things at your own pace, in your own manner, when and while you can. Just keep on and mind yourself and then mind others, that is all.
I have little else to say apart from that upon that particular subject. ...!
I don't know entirely why but your words are somehow comforting DC. It's like being locked in a special kind of hell, understanding finally but a seemingly endless wait for official recognition. It's like being stuck not able to properly start the process of grieving or acceptance.