My experience of shut-down - does anyone else experience the same?

Hi Clare,

I am so glad you have posted this thread as I am experiencing a lot of shutdowns lately.  I was diagnosed nearly 12 months ago and didn't know that these episodes were linked to autism to start with (GP is still ruling other things out).

I had another one at work yesterday.  Looking back I think it had been building, I just hadn't noticed.  I had been hypersensitive to noises a couple of days previous and had been sleeping with ear plugs to help me sleep better.  In addition, I was finding that I was becoming more agitated with my partner and other things, as well as becoming more obsessive about things such as housework and how things are organised (this is normally something I take pleasure in).  So to cut a long story short, yesterday I awoke to feel very fatigued, like my body was made of lead.  My head was fuzzy and I couldn't think straight.  I had already had a couple of days off work last week and the previous week for hospital appointments, so I felt guilty about working from home and decided to go in and battle through it.  I felt spaced out on the way to work and when I greeted the first person in the office, what I meant to say came out all jumbled.  I had to try again to make sure my message was relayed properly.  Then I noticed I was slurring my words and saying words in a sentence the wrong way round.  My memory also suffers prior to a shutdown, where the same thing happened yesterday.  I can't remember names, places, words for certain objects, whether I have completed a task....normally my memory is the only thing that gets me by so this throws me off!

Then I before lunch I started to feel spaced out and not with it.  I put it down to needing food (I am sensitive to feeling hungry and not eating regularly) so went to the canteen to get lunch.  The noise in the canteen was overwhelming, so much so I had to leave.  Then I tried to run an errand within the premise, but the noise from a radio and the sun blaring down on me as I walked between buildings was just too much.  This is when I started to realise something was wrong and I went to find a dark empty office to compose myself.  It was at this point I just wanted to withdraw, not talk or see anyone.  After about 35 minutes, things seemed to improve, so in my usual stubborn way I convinced myself I had beat it and that I could carry on with work.  At my desk I slurred at some colleagues who told me to go home, but in reality I just wanted to be left alone.  It was then that my mind wouldn't focused, I kept spacing out and I started to feel really unwell.  I Skyped my boss to say I wasn't well and needed to go home and that's when it hit me like a brick!

I felt a wave come over me and realised I didn't feel in control of my body.  My limbs felt heavy and stiff and when my boss came over, I couldn't talk and he realised I was at crisis point.  He moved me to an office, but I felt faint and nearly dropped to the floor.  I sat on a chair and the lights seemed really bright, the air con sounded like it was in my head and I couldn't get my words out.  Luckily, my boss handled it well and helped to calm me, but from the outside it looks like I am having a stroke.

It takes about 40 minutes for me to be able to start talking slowly again and be able to process simple things.  I went home and went straight to bed as I felt like I had been hit by a bus and my head ached.

Light and noise was unbearable and I was very agitated.

Today I am fatigued and feel sensitive.  My boss has told me to rest, but the whole thing is becoming very frustrating.  Everyone keeps asking me what triggers them, but I don't know and I wish I had the answers.

Hi Clare,

I am so glad you have posted this thread as I am experiencing a lot of shutdowns lately.  I was diagnosed nearly 12 months ago and didn't know that these episodes were linked to autism to start with (GP is still ruling other things out).

I had another one at work yesterday.  Looking back I think it had been building, I just hadn't noticed.  I had been hypersensitive to noises a couple of days previous and had been sleeping with ear plugs to help me sleep better.  In addition, I was finding that I was becoming more agitated with my partner and other things, as well as becoming more obsessive about things such as housework and how things are organised (this is normally something I take pleasure in).  So to cut a long story short, yesterday I awoke to feel very fatigued, like my body was made of lead.  My head was fuzzy and I couldn't think straight.  I had already had a couple of days off work last week and the previous week for hospital appointments, so I felt guilty about working from home and decided to go in and battle through it.  I felt spaced out on the way to work and when I greeted the first person in the office, what I meant to say came out all jumbled.  I had to try again to make sure my message was relayed properly.  Then I noticed I was slurring my words and saying words in a sentence the wrong way round.  My memory also suffers prior to a shutdown, where the same thing happened yesterday.  I can't remember names, places, words for certain objects, whether I have completed a task....normally my memory is the only thing that gets me by so this throws me off!

Then I before lunch I started to feel spaced out and not with it.  I put it down to needing food (I am sensitive to feeling hungry and not eating regularly) so went to the canteen to get lunch.  The noise in the canteen was overwhelming, so much so I had to leave.  Then I tried to run an errand within the premise, but the noise from a radio and the sun blaring down on me as I walked between buildings was just too much.  This is when I started to realise something was wrong and I went to find a dark empty office to compose myself.  It was at this point I just wanted to withdraw, not talk or see anyone.  After about 35 minutes, things seemed to improve, so in my usual stubborn way I convinced myself I had beat it and that I could carry on with work.  At my desk I slurred at some colleagues who told me to go home, but in reality I just wanted to be left alone.  It was then that my mind wouldn't focused, I kept spacing out and I started to feel really unwell.  I Skyped my boss to say I wasn't well and needed to go home and that's when it hit me like a brick!

I felt a wave come over me and realised I didn't feel in control of my body.  My limbs felt heavy and stiff and when my boss came over, I couldn't talk and he realised I was at crisis point.  He moved me to an office, but I felt faint and nearly dropped to the floor.  I sat on a chair and the lights seemed really bright, the air con sounded like it was in my head and I couldn't get my words out.  Luckily, my boss handled it well and helped to calm me, but from the outside it looks like I am having a stroke.

It takes about 40 minutes for me to be able to start talking slowly again and be able to process simple things.  I went home and went straight to bed as I felt like I had been hit by a bus and my head ached.

Light and noise was unbearable and I was very agitated.

Today I am fatigued and feel sensitive.  My boss has told me to rest, but the whole thing is becoming very frustrating.  Everyone keeps asking me what triggers them, but I don't know and I wish I had the answers.