Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I would like to know how to cope with my friend with Asperger’s.
We were good friends. However, the more we become close, the more we argue. I think this is because that we do not understand to each other. Or I should rather say thay it is so hard for me to understand her way of thinking or perceptions....(she says she understands me but she does not sadly...)
We both had tough times last year. We were so stressed out in own issues. I do admit that I was sometimes nasty and horrible to her. I am shamed to say that I have shouted at her so many times. If I am allowed to excuse for it, this was because I was just not be able to put up with her extreme negativity and strong obsession with wanting to tell her favourite things which I do not like to hear and to correct the meaning of the words I used (my mother language is not English) during having important discussions and/or everyday conversations.
Since she was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, for me, she now excuses everything that she cannot do or change because of having Asperger’s. It really does not work for me... She has said to me once that I am neurotypical that is why I do not understand her. It may be true but sounded really cold and I felt a big barrier between us.
She found a kind of soul mate who has also Asperger’s in SNS. She is very happy and it makes her strong. She said to me that that person really understood her and made her feel very comfortable. I felt very jealous and was not happy at all because I am suffering from not being able to understand her as a real life friend exchanging many private and life issues but she admires her virtual friend....
I almost decided to end up our friendship because I do not know how to manage my emotions with her. I do not want to but I do become short tempered. Also, she believes in what her SNS friend says and telephone Asperger’s psychiatrist advice only now. She ignores my calls eventually. That is actually psychiatrist’s advice because I shout at her...My close friends advise me to finish this friendship because of wasting time...I really liked her and thought that I could make a great friendship with her though.....I do not know why our friendship became so bad...
Could anyone kindly tell me how to cope with this situations and a friend with Asperger’s, please?
Save yourself and run for the hills!
...........must behave myself.....
Quite why should I run for the hills?
And why should you need to behave yourself?
You are entitled to be yourself on here, let no one TELL you otherwise,
But Could I please ask politely that you refrain from telling people you speak for all autistics, “we” “ us”.
we are all different, in your replies you keep saying “us” as if all autistics are thinking the same as you, I do not think anything like you, you keep saying how”we” feel?
you have no idea how I feel. Or what I am thinking,
You May have similar traits as me, you may understand me and me you, but you cannot begin to understand what I feel or how I care,
In all the time I have been here I have never heard comments such as yours, you are entitled to your opinions as am I. But please do not say you speak for me, , I am not trying to upset you or tell you what to say or do. I ask politely that you refrain from saying you talk for me and every person who is on the autistic spectrum,
I wish you well, take care,
I offer a virtual hug which you can ignore if you wish. ().
we don’t all accept hugs as we are all different,
Thanks for pointing out my errors in use of us, we etc, it was remiss of me to use those words to make some points.
There was no intention to elect myself as a speaker for everyone here in those posts.
Likewise you do not know what I am thinking or how I am feeling and I assure you that I am not angry so I would appreciate it if you didn't refer to me as being so.
(I personally support LoneWarrior, DongFeng, and Robert123...)
...Sometimes when a "Thread goes off-topic" so very much and for so long... a "NAS-Moderator" intervenes....
...Obviously not here, then...?
Interesting discussion. Perhaps we need the rules they have in some other forums
) ( said:I did not say you were angry?
I have obtained a screenshot of your pre-edited post, you referred to my being angry:-
My suspicion is that the posts vanish if you follow a link about an update that a user has made - e.g. an item in your "notifications" list.
It *seems* to be the case that if you go to the root of the forums (http://community.autism.org.uk/f ) and then "drill down" to the thread concerned, you will get a coherent display.
(I could be wrong, so don't treat this description as gospel)
*If* I am correct, then this suggests that the "notifications" functionality somehow caches a snapshot of the thread, but crucially doesn't take a snapshot of the *entire* thread, just a part of it to provide the context for the notification?
I was puzzled by it and then had another look and it's a navigation issue, posts being rolled up? or whatever - having to load the next or previous posts. But it's free and there are no annoying adverts.
So I had another look and found them, mystery resolved and my statement corrected.
The disappearing and reappearing posts is a well known problem on this site.
It happens when we have too many posts.
A lot of posts have disappeared.
actually those ones are elsewhere in here, my mistake.
Thermals, layers, scarf etc.
Countryside will be just driving and a few stops to admire the view, it's too soggy and heavy underfoot. Maybe a little tea shop visit will be in order.
lucky you....dress warm...
out and about in the countryside and beach walk, blow the cobwebs away.
lovely
Well, I hope somewhere nice. All the best x
I shall be out for the day soon.
Water under the bridge.
And you have stuck up for yourself... don’t let it eat you up
Thank you anonymous person
but wouldn't you want to stick up for yourself?!
You don't have the full story above, posts I have replied to have been deleted.
Best wishes to you, have a nice day.
) ( said:I personally think once a reply is posted it should not be able to edit it.
Some of your posts have been edited, some of them I cannot find now, but I have screenshots.
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good morning good people. A new day.... a fresh start... I hope all is well...
please let this go NAS35494 and LoneWarrior... life can be tough enough. For me, this forum is a place of sanctuary and respect and care..x
Best wishes to both of you
I don't know what to make of you after this.
I have read your long posts in the past and you seemed a nice guy and I deleted my posts because I didn't want to offend you or anyone else in here, I acted out of respect.
There never was any intention to be spokesperson for everyone, my posts were meant to be a means of pointing out that this person could not make assumptions about everyone from knowing just one person. So when I saw your post I thought oh no, I didn't meant to do that at all and I wiped them out to keep the peace with you and anyone else who thought the same.
NAS35494 8 minutes ago in reply to LonewarriorI stand corrected outside the headmasters office for detention and 40 lashes.
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Hey no joke,
i have been shaken so hard by teachers I threw up,
i had many things thrown at me,
i had verbal abuse at school, teachers bullying me at infants school.
Thank fully the cane was banned just as I was going up to middle school.
I wish you well.
I personally think once a reply is posted it should not be able to edit it.
Please feel free to read my long rambles, I am not a nasty guy, I don’t go round telling folks what they should do or say.
take care, x()x
oh and apologies for the hugs() It is something I do often, they are virtual as I don’t do hugs in reality..just ignore them if they offend.
I stand corrected outside the headmasters office for detention and 40 lashes.