Hello. I would like to know how to cope with my friend with Asperger’s.
We were good friends. However, the more we become close, the more we argue. I think this is because that we do not understand to each other. Or I should rather say thay it is so hard for me to understand her way of thinking or perceptions....(she says she understands me but she does not sadly...)
We both had tough times last year. We were so stressed out in own issues. I do admit that I was sometimes nasty and horrible to her. I am shamed to say that I have shouted at her so many times. If I am allowed to excuse for it, this was because I was just not be able to put up with her extreme negativity and strong obsession with wanting to tell her favourite things which I do not like to hear and to correct the meaning of the words I used (my mother language is not English) during having important discussions and/or everyday conversations.
Since she was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, for me, she now excuses everything that she cannot do or change because of having Asperger’s. It really does not work for me... She has said to me once that I am neurotypical that is why I do not understand her. It may be true but sounded really cold and I felt a big barrier between us.
She found a kind of soul mate who has also Asperger’s in SNS. She is very happy and it makes her strong. She said to me that that person really understood her and made her feel very comfortable. I felt very jealous and was not happy at all because I am suffering from not being able to understand her as a real life friend exchanging many private and life issues but she admires her virtual friend....
I almost decided to end up our friendship because I do not know how to manage my emotions with her. I do not want to but I do become short tempered. Also, she believes in what her SNS friend says and telephone Asperger’s psychiatrist advice only now. She ignores my calls eventually. That is actually psychiatrist’s advice because I shout at her...My close friends advise me to finish this friendship because of wasting time...I really liked her and thought that I could make a great friendship with her though.....I do not know why our friendship became so bad...
Could anyone kindly tell me how to cope with this situations and a friend with Asperger’s, please?
Save yourself and run for the hills!
...........must behave myself.....
Quite why should I run for the hills?
And why should you need to behave yourself?
You are entitled to be yourself on here, let no one TELL you otherwise,
But Could I please ask politely that you refrain from telling people you speak for all autistics, “we” “ us”.
we are all different, in your replies you keep saying “us” as if all autistics are thinking the same as you, I do not think anything like you, you keep saying how”we” feel?
you have no idea how I feel. Or what I am thinking,
You May have similar traits as me, you may understand me and me you, but you cannot begin to understand what I feel or how I care,
In all the time I have been here I have never heard comments such as yours, you are entitled to your opinions as am I. But please do not say you speak for me, , I am not trying to upset you or tell you what to say or do. I ask politely that you refrain from saying you talk for me and every person who is on the autistic spectrum,
I wish you well, take care,
I offer a virtual hug which you can ignore if you wish. ().
we don’t all accept hugs as we are all different,