I am autistic and so is my child. All my family know about my child's diagnosis and some know about mine. Despite this, I feel intense rejection or isolation from some members of my family. As though every time my child gets upset the other children are whisked away and told it's not their fault (not that it is is there fault but it's the whisk them off and turn their back on my child which hurts). If any other child in my family was upset I would try and comfort them and reassure them. This doesn't seem to happen for my child (by some).
I feel such intense loneliness sometimes and that is my worse fear for my child; that they will be lonely. It hurts so incredibly much that some members of my family seem to struggle to accept us. It could be my own misinterpretation but it causes such anxiety and nausea.
Has anyone else felt this kind of rejection and loneliness and it be unfounded? I want it to be unfounded.
I have stifled my feelings,my true wants and desires, I just assumed everyone did,or at least a lot of people did, why else would I see such sad people, those who show nothing and pretend to be what they assume others want, oh hang on I meant neurotypicals folks, I now know the difference, NT beings use deceit and lies to be what they are not, where as autistics try to be the perceived socially acceptable, they do not lie they try to adapt to what is wrong, no gain anticipated.
so I builtvwalls to keep me safe,
I apologise but my mind is experiencing a misty time right now, I am ok, just a bit floaty Lol.
over tired and been froze all day,feet burning hands too, brrrr.
Me too Ellie. Plus I’m too busy stressed and tired to even join in on here at the moment so feeling even more isolated. I think over time my feelings have changed about aloneness, solitude and loneliness. Sometimes I relish being alone and need solitude; at others the loneliness is acute both when I am with people or not especially at family gatherings when my situation is highlighted.
try to talk to your family and tell them how you would like you and your son to be treated. Show them what you want. Ask for their help and be open. They may be unsure of how to cope with you both. Also have you worked out which side of the family your sons autism is from? Could it be that others of your family are unknowingly on the spectrum too ? In which case they may have communication and interaction issues of their own. Even with one other family person who is willing to understand will help. I don’t know how you would go about this... maybe write down your thoughts then put it in an email to send to those you would like support from then when they have had time to think about it try talking to them. However if this doesn’t help you may feel even more rejected. I hope you get some family relationship advice from someone.
Misfit61 said:Sometimes I relish being alone and need solitude; at others the loneliness is acute both when I am with people or not especially at family gatherings when my situation is highlighted.
I also have that push-me-pull-you clash of wanting peace but also wanting connection....
the rest of the reply for me also? - as is also pertinent to me as well as the thread poster!!
Good to hear from you but I hope you are still able to enjoy reading the threads!
DongFeng5 said:I did try calling the helpline myself to find out about what resources might be available to an adult with likely Aspergers (me), but after ten minutes on hold I was cut off by the automated systems.
In the case of the automated cut off ~ just call again, and if need be again, and by the third time I normally get through.
I have tried to talk to them and explain. They just kind of don't talk back. I'll describe a situation at school and how it affected my child but they kind of look but don't respond.
I'm not sure if they don't know how to respond or don't believe me.
I have tried giving them a book to read but again it never gets discussed.
i am still trying to work out how to work this and have only just seen all these replies.
Thank you. I have tried explaining and don't really get a response. I have given them a book to read and agin it's just kind of ignored afterwards.
When does loneliness become something else?
When you get to used to it over a long time that you no longer are self aware that you're lonely.
Then it's chronic.
You’re right it does become part of you like any other characteristic and for me like depression and anxiety are too. You learn to tolerate it on a daily basis but occasionally it will swing either way so you are in a situation where you connect with someone or you go through a bad patch and it feels unbearable. But again loneliness is very very different to being alone or seeking solitude which many autistics are content with. And we can experience both.
Loneliness is awful when you're surrounded by people, yet totally disconnected and alone. That's what I often experienced at school. Both in the classroom and during break times when it was even worse.
At this moment I am alone in my flat watching tv, but only feeling slightly lonely.
I go on long walks through the woods alone. Yet not feel lonely. But seeing people in pairs or groups, while on these walks makes me feel low.