Struggling through life

Hi, I’m new to the forum. 

I’ve always been different from the crowd and have suffered from depression all my life. I’m 41 and work in a fairly demanding job, but I struggle socially and I struggle with dealing with life. 

I recently watched Chris Packham talking about his autism, and although I’ve thought I may have aspergers for a while, some of the things he spoke about hit a chord with me. I’m very ritualistic when I do things regularly. I choose to have no friends as I find people so demanding. I find work absolutely drains me of energy. I don’t go out socialising. I crave time alone and spend a lot of time alone. People, mainly my family, don’t understand how I see the world... the list goes on. 

For the record, I don’t have a boyfriend, have never even been engaged and I don’t have children, so it’s safe to say I’m a fairly unsuccessful human being. 

I went to my doctor a couple of weeks ago to ask about getting a diagnosis and he told me the NHS will only diagnose people up to the age of 19, so I’m well out of that age range. 

Can anyone give me any advice of direction as to what I might be able to do next? I need to find a reason for my weirdness (I went to an art university and was weird even by their standards)

thanks in advance... 

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