parents/ family with a lack of understanding

I am looking for a bit of advice really. My predicament revolves around being autistic and having a job. Around 9 months ago, I lost my job as a civil servant with the DWP. They unfairly dismissed me because I did have reasonable adjustments but they kept taking them off me etc. which lead to my mental health declining and I began underperforming – this to me meant maybe a call centre environment was the wrong place for me to work as I dont do too well with telephones.

I've been in and out of jobs for the last 9 months, my most recent one ended because they just didn't care about me and took advantage of me. The part I am really struggling with is the pressure from my family to get another job to where they keep suggesting I go for jobs in call centres because they hire in large volumes and I will more than likely get it because I am articulate and intelligent thanks to my aspergers.

I try to tell them that these are jobs I will likely fail or get fired from because I don't operate the way they would want a typical call centre worker to operate, my family sometimes seems to be of the belief that Autism and aspergers isn't necessarily a disability and that through confronting the issues we face we can just get over them. in addition to this my mum is of the opinion that I'm only autistic because of the things I have been through in my life because I was only diagnosed two years ago where as I know I was born autistic.  I understand they just want me to have a job and live independently with my partner like I did this time last year but I cannot work in a call centre!

Im trying to keep everyone happy which is what I always seem to do so I don't disappoint anyone but from past experience this puts me in a tricky position! Its not me being closed minded in terms of working, I want to, but I also want to be comfortable and able to work somewhere to start with!

I'm just not sure how to help them understand without disappointing them or making them think I'm trying to make excuses to not do things etc. does anyone have any advice?

Parents
  • Hi Lee

    I wish I could tell you what to do. I understand what you're dealing with as I've grown up with a like minded family.

    Im so sorry you're going through that. This may not be very helpful but all I can say is to ignore every patronising and short sighted comment. Don't let them affect your self worth or confidence because if it does you'll end up going for jobs that aren't right for you to please them. That will just make things worse.

    I would suggest speaking to a few employment agencies. You might be surprised at what call centre experience can get you (without going to another call centre). I'm doing the same. Finding a fitting job for people like us is damn hard but so doable. Hang in there.

    Good luck.

  • thanks! I just wish there was more suitable jobs for people like us where we are seen as a valuable part of a work force rather than an issue

Reply Children
  • I think it's starting to change. Even if it's slow.

    More and more big organisations are promoting that they're equal opportunity employers. I believe that includes autism.

    I was on the fence about disclosing my ASD on job applications but my councillor talked me into it.

    Of course it all depends on who is reading you're application and their knowledge of autism but it also depends on how you word it I think.

    For example...if yours is a social disability, the fact that you have call centre experience shows that you are capable of challenging yourself and taking a step out of your comfort zone. Or something like that.

    Turn what you think is a negative and show how it's actually a positive. Employers love that kind of thing. 

    It's also good practice for yourself.