neighbour is aware we are an autistic family (myself and 2 children) yet shining high beam lights into bedrooms for the last year since he failed in a boundary dispute. yet no professionals see this as a 'hate' crime or act on it.

  • you have to file counter-claims so you have something to use against him. That's experience of the law speaking, not autistic nonsense about 'justice' - justice doesn't exist, the law exists to deflect people's anger from causing armed vendettas

    law requires it to be prosecutable, which usually means legally accepted as evidence. CCTV would be a good investment, obviously you'll have to edit it down i guess or you'll have hours of nothing and blocked hard-drives

    ideally you'd spread rumours yourselves among the neighbours about him, but it doesn't sound like you have the social circle to do it

    the law is the law. You need someone who knows the law. If you want to lose your case, use a divorce lawyer, a property lawyer, anyone who doesn't know this specific area of the law - the nas would be even worse, you'd definitely lose any claim using them to support you. Find a ferocious lawyer who likes money who specialises in neighbour disputes and fire off some counter-claims or prosecutions or whatever they are

    and don't get any soft notions that a lawyer who agrees to take your case will still be there next week or not go on holiday when the case is due, lawyers are there when they're in front of you and no promises should be believed

  • Buy yourself a bright light and do the same to them...?? (Make certain that it shines upon no-one else at all.) Find out how *they* themselves next deal with it - in LAW - ...and then state your own case. 

    Do not do this, to not retaliate or take aggravating actions, this will weaken your case and if legal action is taken against you you're on the back foot, the courts don't really like the argument of "but he did it as well".

  • Hi Nick

    It's not a hate crime as far as I understand it, but it would appear having read the posts below it would certainly be viewed has harassment. You'll need to keep a record of his actions (days and times) as well as the impact, be realistic in terms of impact, don't exaggerate or it will most likley be ignored. If you've got 2+ weeks of this you can go to the police and register a harassment complaint, though if you can get a full months record you'll find you have much more to push with.

    Someone else has said about speaking to your MP but keep that powder dry, go to the police first and only go to your MP if they fail to act. You should make it very clear that you are looking to report harassment and that you know that harassment is a crime otherwise you might find that they attempt to fob you off.

  • Hi

    Perhaps if you have the finances or think it worthwhile ~ you could start covertly filming your assailant in action for a period of time, and allow him to become regularly and evidently the rising star of his own downfall.

    If this idea seems 'intriguing' in any sense ~ here is a link:

    https://www.spyequipmentuk.co.uk/spy-cameras

    A number of people getting harassed and abused have taken this approach to getting things sorted out, so maybe it could be a useful recourse for you and your family.

    I have also put a link to this thread on the National Police Autism Association thread stating to them that your problem needs very much to be solved.

    As far as, "aren't people funny but we are the autistic ones?" goes, I generally agree in this respect stating that I prefer to be the odd one out ~ rather than being one of the odder ones in!!! Hey-ho and off to work we go and all that.

    Have a good one,

    and man many more. 

  • i would personally just sell and go but the childrens father is averse to being driven out of the house after only 2 years. One year of neighbour hell.

    when i rode my motorbike in the back lane, one neighbour thought it would be nice to place hundreds of nails on this road, sorry i mean 'his' road..

    another neighbour thought it okay to beep at the escorted bus service waiting for my son, rather than drive around.

    aren't people funny but we are the autistic ones?

  • those neighbours, some just thrive on attention. which us aspies are so averse to.. even so much as to go to the press and share our stories. its almost an impossible feat for me to achieve when i just want to hide into the woodwork, despite my 'intelligence' and qualifications..

  • yes such an honest statement to make wasn't it... so typically autistic even in my response..subterfuge not my thing obviously despite the psych knowledge. annoying but true

  • Unfortunately I am not the best person to advise you.

    I have had my share of disputes with neighbours.  And my strategies have often backfired.  With one neighbour I decided to avoid a confrontation by tactfully  avoiding her.  ( I was the one trying to avoid telling her to F***  OFF.). The avoidance tactic worked.  But eventually she came round in a temper and confronted me, demanding to know how I managed to avoid her for all these weeks.

  • About the media.

    Your mistake was discussing things instead of just doing it!

  • i did mention taking it to the media, but that made me look bad apparently and i was interviewed by police about that comment.

    good news the environment team from council came out recently and one of the lights (under bedroom) moved. I believe dimmed? but still can see the light though around blinds.

    bad news - my letter to the chief executive to complain (which mitigated the environment team coming out and some action to help us for a change!) was again seen as 'harassing' him as he works for the council. I am now supposed to sign a form to behave and no more complaints. in effect he has used the police to silence us.

    I have to now sign a form to behave and not complain..... he of course can carry on provoking to drive us out of the house as he did the last home owner.

    i'd never believe this could happen today. ps the national autistic society advised Victim Support. I rang them but im not a' victim' as its the neighbour making allegations to the police.

    I feel so sorry for bringing my children into this world as its a tough world for us autistic people (i was diagnosed in later adulthood after 2 of my children diagnosed).

    Unbelievably I have qualified in Psychology (as I wanted to 'understand' people) and I see the manipulation but due to my own autism I find it very hard to be believed and indeed not react to provocation but working on that one. I've managed to blank him for a year now.  although its hard when he stares at me when im outside with the children or walks close to me in the street and the like. I just wish he'd move on to his next 'target' but I think us autistics probably make the best 'targets' as we are so vulnerable.

  • "he's better at playing the victim", I was afraid of that.

    There are alternatives you could try.

    1. Cannot say this on an open forum and I would probably be banned or worse.

    2.  Instead of complaining through proper channels and this little known forum.  Try the general media and "really" play the victim!!!

  • unfortunately he plays a better victim than me and has the police supporting him. for example he complained about coloured lights in the garden, I have created a sensory space in the garden and the tree has colour changing lights (green, blue and white) that my autistic son enjoys. the neighbour complained these "rainbow" lights were homophobic.

    Then he left bins at my gate, and only another autistic person would get how distressing my son & i found this with our phobias.  it has been a targeted campaign of false complaints since, as I act so jumpy and 'different', help is not forth coming.  Yes he targets me when I am alone, the lone woman rather than the childrens father. 

    Throwing concrete over into our garden and I did succumb once and threw it back, one occasion only. He did this and stood at his window waiting to film me, which he got!  The next occasion he was in garden waiting for me to return from school run, he shouted over 'what are you throwing over' - NOTHING, i ignored him on that occasion with great restraint and I still now have concrete lumps in garden, no point moving them, as it will only mean he'll be at it again..

    He keeps setting me up to fail, for example. My daughter was at the ice cream van, i was waiting for her at the other side of the road, this neighbour sped up the street, she stepped out and he did an emergency stop in front of her. I was shaking after that. Its purely to get me to react. A month ago I was tidying car and stood in road, his partner stayed on the path, going to their home, the one that keeps 'targeting' me he walked right by the back of me (middle of the road at the side of my car), close enough to intimidate me.  All the while I had to keep complete control and as an autistic individual I am being pushed to my limits of what i can endure, ie  being provoked.

    its so hard to keep that emotional regulation and not snap, so much harder for us aspies.

  • I am sorry but I had to reply. I have an autistic with learning difficulties son, aged 15 so was looking for some guidance. I came across your post. I feel for you and your children. I don't know where you live or your full extended family make up or support group but sometimes, just sometimes the 'official' route stinks! This if taken in any context irrelevant of autism is a) a neighbourly dispute and more importantly b) bullying. A bully is a bully is a bully yet when bullied back is not a bully is not a bully. Simple. I wont condone violence of course as I have children but I know how I would deal with this! This is not right, at all. What I will say is it takes two hands to clap so please ensure you have not done or will do anything illegal, that's your first base covered. Then, I would go through the police and NAS, see what they do, thirdly and I am sorry if this offends anybody I would have to bring some 'men' into it to have a little chat, politely. If they know you are 'protected' so to speak I doubt they do much more. I hope this doesn't offend or sound drastic but people take advantage of the weak but the weak are stronger than them...if there is anything I can do further for you let me know. I pray you get through this...

  • in the forum "Introduce yourself' is a posting by the National Police Autism Association. 

    It's worth looking them up. 

    National Police Autism Association

    Hi,

    A hello to everyone and a quick plug - we are the National Police Autism Association, a new indepdendent body supporting police officers, staff and families affected by ASC, AS and other hidden conditions such as dyslexia, dyspraxia, AD(H)D, depression etc. We also promote best practices for working with members of public affected by autism.

    If you've ever wondered whether there are police officers with AS, the answer is yes... there are many aspects of a career in policing that are well-suited to an aspie, but some that are pretty tough as well.

    We have a website, www.npaa.org.uk , and a Twitter account "Police Autism UK" @npaa_uk . We're also on Facebook and LinkedIn (search for NPAA). It would be great if you could give us a follow - we tweet about all sorts of things related to autism, AS, equal opportunities and anything "neurodivergent".

    Looking forward to taking part in the NAS web forum

  • thank you robert for link, much appreciated.

  • Try getting in touch with these people.

    https://www.dimensions-uk.org/position-statement/hate-crime-learning-disability-autism/

    They have some useful links for reporting autism hate crimes.

  • Good morning Nellie-mod. If this is the NAS autism helpline, I have rang them, they could not help other than to give me a link to 'Victim Support'. Im not sure how that would be helpful to an autistic family as this is specific abuse aimed at my family due to our disabilities. however, thank you for the reply.

  • Hi ,

    I'm sorry to hear about the situation that you are currently going through. If you would like to speak to someone one-to-one about the aspects of this situation which involve your autism, it may be worth contacting the team at our Autism Helpline. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm), although please note that the Helpline is experiencing increasingly high demand, and you may not reach them straight away.

    Please see the following link for further information:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main.aspx

    Best wishes,

    Nellie-Mod

  • Sounds more like he is abusing his power. 

    what about an MP to discuss the issue with?

  • thank you disallowed cynosure for the advice. I have to now attend the police station under caution about this neighbours constant and fake 'allegations'.  he claimed I was harassing him with a wind chime. impossible as it was tied. This started as a boundary dispute after he drilled a new fence into our fence posts, without permission.being as his new fence was 2m high and ours only 1m. Our post could not support his new fence and our own.  He then claimed our fence was his, we ascertained that it was in our boundary and had been built before he moved in next door. We only just moved into the house so we cant afford to move on just yet. since then I have been filmed, watched by this bully. He even complained to the police about a book in our bedroom (why is he spying into our bedroom?) and said it was "offensive". Pretty much evidencing his own stalking of me!! The police then rang to ask us to move book from his view. shocking.  (the book 'straight jacket').

    The national autistic society cant help apparently, they dont do 'legal advice'. I thought they would offer support due to the nature of the harassment. The neighbour is aware that we are an autistic family and have used those sensory disabilities to harass us even further. 

    We even had a camera in our property, and neighbour complained to police about it. It was a dummy camera to deter thieves. due to the neighbour throwing concrete over to our side, (I have had ornaments broken in the garden) I would like to now put up real CCTV as for the last 2 nights, not only has he been shining his garden lights until 2am, he has also had loud parties and having his guests leave the side entrance (adjacent to our bedrooms) rather than the front door straight onto the street, of course to cause us noise nuisance and disturb us further. It has been a very nasty harassment campaign from him and because of his 'sexuality' the police are targeting us instead (i believe to be political correct). The police have certainly failed to safeguard my family. When I rang a year ago to tell them that there were strangers in my garden, damaging my fence on purpose, they would not come out. The neighbour had his workmen (after he lost the fence dispute) put up a new fence but made them push our posts out and damaged our fence, they were also on our property without permission to harass us, when there was no need for them to be in my garden. I know putting CCTV will mean the police will be at our house again at his behest.  we are becoming  prisoners in our own home.