Aspergers or not? My son has no friends. Please help

Hi

I have a four, nearly five year old boy who clearly has some social issues. He doesn't interact at all with other children, and seems unable to recall the names of other children even straight after a playdate at their house. He is also fairly disorganised at times, and can often be in a dream world. He struggles answering direct questions particularly if they are related to people, i.e. who did you sit next to at school? or Who is so and so's brother. He seems to have some memory issues.

That said, he does have a lot of strengths. He has just started school and he has managed to join in with class activities and with PE. He can dress himself, although often he will have a t-shirt on backwards, and he is good using the toilet on his own. He is definitely bright and excels at puzzles. He is also managing to keep up with his peers in terms of literary and maths, and is learning his letters well. He enjoys school and reports what he has done, but he still has no awareness of the other pupils. He plays with his sisters well, and is imaginative. He is always making up stories. He can cope with busy environments and he can also cope with change of routines easily. He never lined up toys when he was little, although he can have fixed interests like the constructing marble runs, he also likes lots of things. He is learning to play tennis, does gymnastics and has just taken up rugby which he loves even though he can be in dreamland for half of a session (when he concentrates, he is really good). He has been able to ride a bike since he was 3, and is a good swimmer.

I applied for an EHCP, but it was refused and the teacher feels that he probably doesn't need a one-to-one as with visual cues and support in the classroom, he can be fairly independent. He had an EP report, but that didn't really enlighten me as she didn't really assess him for anything.

I have taken him to the Paed with the view of possibly getting him diagnosed, but we both felt it was best to wait for six months and see what happened. I feel on many levels that he could be autistic, but he doesn't tick all the boxes. I am uncertain how to proceed as I sometimes think something else developmentally is going on. I understand that getting a diagnosis opens up windows in terms of support, but I worry that a diagnosis might also be a burden to him in terms of life opportunities, and influence how he is seem by others. Obviously, if he will benefit him then it is a route I will pursue.

If anyone in a similar situation, it would be great to hear from you, particularly in regard to awareness of faces and interactions with friends.