Telling a 4 year old about his Asperger's diagnosis... Any advice?

Hi, we recently had an Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis for my four year old.  He is very self aware about his behaviour.  We haven't told him about his diagnosis properly. I bought a picture book about Asperger's and he identifies with the boy in it. He starts school in September and I am wondering how and when we should tell him properly about his autism.  Has anyone any suggestions or experiences which they can share.  I have looked at other threads but they all appear to be about older children.

  • Since my last post in 2018 I have received my own autism diagnosis at the age of 59. I wrote this blog for anyone interested about my responses to late diagnosis  http://www.jkp.com/jkpblog/2019/11/autism-diagnosis-2/ 

  • Congratulations on the book! Although TBH I feel like I really want to hear from other people's actual experiences just now...

  • https://mobile.twitter.com/JKPBooks/status/955156794502012929/photo/1 

    My book came out a few days ago and is based on my positive experiences of informing more than 250 children aged 6 to 18 about their autism. It is available from JKP.com

  • Hi NAS24152, I know this is an old thread but did you end up telling your son? Our five-year-old had his first paediatrician appointment this week, and she said she thinks he's going to get a pretty straightforward Asperger's diagnosis, and it could all move pretty quickly. We definitely want to tell him, but only once he's actually diagnosed.

    He adores his American cousin, who's autistic as well, so it's already on his radar as A Thing, without it being a negative. I've also oh-so-casually introduced him to Julia on Sesame Street and Pablo on CBeebies, plus a few of the less-scary scenes in the new Power Rangers film (Billy the Blue Ranger is quite open about being on the spectrum, and a fantastic character). So I feel like the groundwork is laid, but I'd still like to hear about other parents' experiences!

  • £25 is cheap when you think how much training and hard work goes into understanding the subject,and then putting such a book together, and all children are worth so much more than money. In an idealistic world it would be free, 

  • Hi Andrew (NAS 36002)many thanks for writing a book to help parents explain the realisation how each child will feel and how the child will be perceived and how they can all work together to achieve a good outcome.

    can I ask you a question that has always been on my mind since becoming aware of my own autism, I am a 55 year old Male with self diagnosed Aspergers, 

    Do you follow the conversations of “ us” to gain insight into how our minds work?

    you may not feel able to answer as it may worry  some members that we are being observed, like laboratory animals?

    I always hoped that anyone working in the field of the autism spectrum would gain so very much by just standing back and listening to our many worries,concerns and emotional battles. We are able to talk freely,Well some of us are as I am now to you, others remain silent for many reasons, 

    As we struggle to understand each of ourselves in the complex world we live in it seems to me to be the best place to observe.

     To see the reality of our lives,our thoughts and minds!

    Text books and research can give much,but to listen,really listen as we strive hard to untangle our own unique traits is in my mind the real learning area.

     I hope you are not offended by my remarks, I would make it compulsory for anyone looking to work and give advice about the autism spectrum to spend time here or similar forums to then write about what they have learnt before being allowed to do their job,

    I for one would welcome such a thing, maybe not to join in or give advice as that should be privately done as each individual should be seen in person.and assessed accordingly.

    many thanks.

  • That’s good. Well done for getting it completed. We can’t get enough of this type of information. It’s very much needed. Thanks for letting us know and thanks for writing it. 

  • Hi 

    • it’s from personal experience as a specialist autism teacher
  • Well done NAS36002. Is this from personal experience as a parent? 

  • My book on how to tell children and young people about their autism diagnosis is being published on 18th January www.jkp.com/.../all-about-me-2.html

  • Keep it age appropriate. Explain his brain uses information differently from lots of other kids. Emphasize the positive parts more than the negative.

  • All About Me
    A Step-by-Step Guide to Telling Children and Young People on the Autism Spectrum about their Diagnosis

    Andrew Miller 

    Just one of the books on the jkp publishers website