Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is now 7 years old and is in Year 2 at a mainstream primary school. He does NOT have a statement or whatever it's called now.
When he was diagnosed back in 2013 we were given his diagnosis and it was pretty much there's the diagnosis. Now get on with the rest of your lives. Absolutely no support.
Is that the same with you and your child?
What I need advice on is how to help him with his emotions. He cries most days at school. Pretty much if he doesn't get his own way or if he wants to play with someone and they dont want to play with him. He's already being made fun of because he cries a lot. Just wondered if anyone else's child is similar to this and what you have done to help them deal with their emotions or if school or external source have done anything to support them.
Also how have school helped your child to focus if that is also an issue with them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and sorry it's so long!
Hi. I am a member of our local NAS group (i.e. just for a radius of about 10 miles or so) and we meet every month - it's been invaluable! Even if you can't make meetings they can help with online support - have you looked to see if you have a local one?
Otherwise my support came from various branches of the local authority - I took my son to their 'step by step ' programme aged 2 because I thought there were some issues, and they put me on a parenting course, and then suggested I put him in pre-school (even though I had to pay as he was under 3) and the pre-school leader was fantastic and brought in speech and language, early years advisors etc. They got me the diagnosis and helped me prepare for primary school. I then went on an Earlybird autism parenting course through the LA. We got the statement after a year or so at primary school - I think they need to see whether the child can cope without additional support before they can apply for one. After that the school should provide the support, and meet with you regularly etc- but you do need outside advice/friends to make sure you're getting the right support from the school. The LA have autism experts, and special needs liaison people who are also available, and will come to meetings etc. In my experience GPs and paediatricians have been unhelpful - but they can be useful if your child has additional physical needs.
My son doesn't cry much but all children are different. Instead he lashes out and is always in trouble for that - he used to bite (Yr1 ish), then he started spitting and throwing chairs (Yr 2), now he's yr 4 and was picked on last year because the other children started to realise he was different, and would react if they pushed the right buttons. He's OK until pushed too far then he might whack someone or push them, or even wave sticks etc dangerously. It's frustration and upset, and often with mine a sense of unfairness (often wrongly) but they just don't have the same understanding of social situations. It's heartbreaking but I think most get better as they mature, but it is really hard to deal with. I have cried so much watching my son bang his head on walls during a meltdown - you feel so helpless. Good luck!!
Probably not very relevant as my son is now 25, but he was diagnosed when he was 6 but before and after the diagnosis we had to fight for every bit of support that he got. To get DLA we ended up at a tribunal and won his case, At primary school we nagged constantly for what was then a statement and it is up to the school to access this support but you need a strong determined SENDCO, same at secondary school but this is easier if you have managed to access support at primary. My son went onto post sixteen and then Uni. He has now finished uni and has been out of work for two years so I am now at the other end where support is very limited
i wish you all the best, but my best my best advice is to tap into support from the NAS but also read up and fight the cause as no one else will will.