DESPERATE ASPIE WIFE!

I appreciate I am posting under the 'Parents and carers' category. I am neither, however, I am married to an aspie and I just need some help. 

I would be very grateful if someone could point me in the direction of all the other frazzled husbands/wives?

I've been married a year and a half, we moved in together when we got married (not due to tradition, but due to commitments that prevented our co-habiting sooner).

A couple of WEEKS after moving in I asked myself: 'who is this selfish, uncaring, unsympathetic, I'm-always-right, rude, arrogant man, and where the HELL is my husband??'

A confusing, emotional and unbearable year passed (no, there was no 'honeymoon period' for us), and we finally have the answer (I'll give you a hint, it starts with 'A' and rhymes with blasperger's)

Since then I've read books and really brushed up on my knowledge of the big 'A'. I'm still mourning the life I expected to live when I got married. It's very, very sad. I now have a completely different view of the man I married and it breaks my heart. He's someone else entirely now. But things are getting better. The last 6 months have been amazing. It's so hard trying to forget everything I know about communication and starting again, and even harder to view things from his perspective, but I'm getting there. 

Tonight, however, is a turning point. I need help. It's the first night I'm not sleeping in the same bed as him. Because of his sensory issues, I've not been able to read a book or peruse my laptop before bed in all the time we've been married. He point blank refuses to wear an eye-mask and ear-buds because they irritate him too much. I haven't slept well recently so now I have to sleep in a different room until I sort it out. 

Ugh, please I just need help to cope with this. I'm 25 and sleeping in a single bed. This isn't RIGHT!!!

Parents
  • Thanks for your reply, but perhaps whatever you read applies to NT/NT marriages. I would like to communicate with other NTs in the same situation as me so I can have some support. I'm not sure what you mean by 'mutual space' - could you elaborate? As for moving out, that is completely out of the question, I am married and I took my vows seriously. In regards to counselling, there only seems to be support for parents of AS children. What makes me particularly frustrated is that there is enough support for parents (who will probably reside with their AS children 20-25 years perhaps) and yet there is barely any support for NT wives and husbands who may live with an aspie for 40/50+ years.

Reply
  • Thanks for your reply, but perhaps whatever you read applies to NT/NT marriages. I would like to communicate with other NTs in the same situation as me so I can have some support. I'm not sure what you mean by 'mutual space' - could you elaborate? As for moving out, that is completely out of the question, I am married and I took my vows seriously. In regards to counselling, there only seems to be support for parents of AS children. What makes me particularly frustrated is that there is enough support for parents (who will probably reside with their AS children 20-25 years perhaps) and yet there is barely any support for NT wives and husbands who may live with an aspie for 40/50+ years.

Children
No Data