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Complex autistic son, unlikely to go to secondary school, looks like I will lose my job.

NAS37290
over 5 years ago

Hi, I'm new to here and thought it would be a good place to ask for ideas and opinions.

My son is about to finish year 6 and has Aspergers, OCD and mild dyslexia. He is at least 2 years behind in his learning as he has been so anxious about everything. He doesn't go any further than our local park, won't travel in any form of transport that pollutes and refuses medication as he thinks it will 'hypnotise' him. Life is very limited for him at the moment. 

It's looking unlikely that he will be able to attend a secondary school setting at the moment so the Local Authority have been good in being proactive and are trying to get him into another less mainstream provision which will use an alternative timetable. How we are going to get him to it is going to be a big hurdle, he's refusing to think of any changes at the moment. 

The amount of stress on our family has been huge and has impacted every one of us. I work and love my job - it is the time when I'm able to 'be me' and can think of something else rather than family issues. I have worked my way up to where I am, studied hard and have been lucky to get my role. Problem is, it looks like I'm going to have to give it all up because of my son's needs and I'm really upset. I work in a pastoral role in a school and these are hard jobs to come by.

We have all the services that should be involved but things just haven't improved and he is now even more anxious about the changes ahead. 

Anyone else been in a similar situation please? Anyone had to give up a job they loved and are now a stay at home mum?

Thanks for reading. 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Thanks for your post.  Myself and my wife are in similar situation.  Our daughter has been diagnosed with ASD asperger.  She is 12 years old and cannot cope in school, therefore she is at home at the present. It has been 18 months now.  Cannot find much help around.  We live in the area of Bromley, south London.  She refuses to see any body else a part from myself and her mother.  Very depressing and stressful.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    Thanks for your post.  Myself and my wife are in similar situation.  Our daughter has been diagnosed with ASD asperger.  She is 12 years old and cannot cope in school, therefore she is at home at the present. It has been 18 months now.  Cannot find much help around.  We live in the area of Bromley, south London.  She refuses to see any body else a part from myself and her mother.  Very depressing and stressful.

Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS37823

    I'm replying from the point of view of the child, refusing to go to school, or socialise etc.

    I grew up in the 1970s when autism was unknown.  And help was very limited.

    The problem with normal schools is that they are a toxic environment and attending them is a living nightmare.  in a school I was surrounded by other pupils, yet totally alone, vulnerable and being bullied, not understanding the behaviour of others and their motivations.  In the end it leads to a mental breakdown and I just want to stay at home and never see school or those awful kids ( and teachers) ever again.

    This is how I suspect your children feel.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS37823

    Thanks for your reply. It's so hard when there is very little support and things have been going on for a long time. It's amazing how Local Authorities differ so much, with some offering a lot of resources and some very few. I hope your situation changes in the future and things improve for you all.