Published on 12, July, 2020
This is my first post. My son is 10 and newly diagnosed ( 2nd may) for just over a year now my son's violence has got worse. It's now a regular occurrence weeks it's every day. We have tried everything and i am lost. He has started attacking his teachers aswell (he's in mainstream). My partner has 2 days off a week and they are when my son's at school i am left with my daughter who is 10 months and him the rest of the week which is when he is at his worst. I feel scared of being left with him. Everything is a weapon. Am i wrong to be scared of my 10 year old my family say it's stupid. What do i do?!
Unless your family has someone with ASD in their home do not listen to them! People think they know what it’s like and try to be helpful by saying things and giving advice. They haven’t got a clue.
You mentioned he’s 10 so secondary school. Probably something stressing him out. A lot changes towards end of term too. Perhaps talk to school. Mention his behaviour has changed (don’t go into detail how) and ask if they can think of a reason.
I would suggest the aggression is anxiety driven. I don’t know how good he’s at communicating his feelings and I suspect not very open. So you need to find a way of working out what it is that’s worrying him.
If you can fix it for him great if not just be there for him. A LOT of reassurance and a lot of praise for good behaviour.
And also make sure he understands how his behaviour is affecting others. You can say something like “when you are angry it scares your little sister”, children with ASD often just don’t see it and it needs to be pointed out to them.
I wouldn’t punish him for it per say but make sure to say that this behaviour is not acceptable (after he’s calmed down!).
Most importantly trust your instincts. Not other people who don’t understand how it is to be walking on eggshells around your own child. You know him best!
And no it’s not creepy to be scared it’s natural.
hi he's year 5 in primary school. when he attacks teachers most of the time he says he is bored of the work and doesn't want to do it anymore. we are waiting for his report to come through but i would say he is high functioning at a guess he is very articulate for his age and very advanced academically. we think he has pathological demand avoidance (PDA) he doesn't do well when he doesn't get his own way and 9 times out 10 it will end in violence.